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Saturday, December 5, 2020

FREUD ,DESCUBRIMIENTO,FASCINACION BY ORLANDO VICENTE.----DISCOVERY FASCINATION...SIGMUND FREUD AL DESNUDO....LOS DISCIPULOS NO SANCTOS,E INCORRECTOS.EL PSICOANALISIS CON IRONIA Y HUMOR.

 


"Leo, en un viejo ensayo de Freud:
«La vida siempre provoca malestar».
¿De modo que esta desazón
estas ganas de huir a ningún lado
este aburrimiento de la gente
y aun de las cosas amadas
este malhumor matinal eran, al fin de cuentas, la vida?".
-Cristina Peri Rossi.

MIEDO A LA CASTRACION,ENVIDIA AL PENE ,COMPLEJO DE EDIPO ,TOTEM,TABU.ZEPELIN,PSICOANALISIS,GAYS,SIMBOLOS,FREUD--------FEAR OF CASTRATION, PENIS ENVY, OEDIPUS COMPLEX, TOTEM, TABU.ZEPELIN, PSYCHOANALYSIS, GAYS, SYMBOLS, FREUD-------------

 





  Pero la teoría de Freud más polémica era el por qué lo seres humanos desarrollaban atracción hacia el sexo opuesto. Le llamó al hombre “miedo a la castración” y la mujer “envidia del pene” Todo para superar el Complejo de Edipo en su niñez. No veía que la pareja humana  c… porque sí, es un instinto natural y evolutivo para preservar la especie.

  Por eso digo que Freud y Jung ya estaban locos cuando escribieron sus tratados, sobre todo Freud en “La interpretación de los sueños” como un cartomántico que te dice que significa el sueño que generalmente es que te va a partir un rayo o llenarte las manos de dinero.  También en “Totem y Tabú” que me disparé escondido en la Universidad, y otros estudios que más que psicoanálisis o psiquiátricos parecían inspiración de un artista sensible y observador. Todavía no se había desarrollado el cine en toda su plenitud sino se hubiera inspirado en la forma de los cuetes, naves espaciales, zepelín para ver “un falo” simbólico en todos ellos, pues el hombre cada día es más impotente sexualmente y la proliferación de los gays les hace ver esos símbolos en todas partes.

DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBANO URUGUAYO
GENIO 

FRIDAY, JULY 17, 2020

FREUD revelation, fascination I discovered Freud through his complete works. A single copy that was kept locked in the Faculty library. I was not so interested in the psychoanalytic part about mental illness but in the semiotic and psychoanalytic analysis that he did about Leonardo da Vinci's painting. In the painting "The Madonna and Child" there is a complete entanglement of his eloquence to attest to the end that Leonardo was Homosexual. Also the analysis of Michelangelo's sculpture "Moisés" A whole artistic compendium and a new vision on the work of the sculptor of the Renaissance. I dont know. But many colleagues of mine who already had personality problems took Psychiatry as a specialty. After two years they were crazy about changing to Pathological Anatomy. In this way they solved human ailments but dissected them. Freud fascinated me. But it was hardly mentioned in the Medicine career. It seems that the Marxist theory of society, psychiatry, etc., did not match the ideas of the Jewish doctor. The Commander-in-Chief Psychiatrist, although he was the first ill patient who had to be given 3 electro shock a day, was explaining about the new Hospital for the mentally ill in Havana, Mazorra, where the madmen were finally happy and radiant Until the " Caballero de Paris ”, a mythical wanderer of the streets of the capital, dressed in a red cape and long graying hair, who was already a folkloric figure in the country, hospitalized him in“ Mazorra ”and stripped him of his original clothing and shaved his hair . The people said nothing. They did interviews for Bohemia magazine and said "how good it felt" of course, after the usual 27 electro shock






I discovered Freud through his complete works. A single copy that was kept locked in the Faculty library. I was not so interested in the psychoanalytic part about mental illness but in the semiotic and psychoanalytic analysis that he did about Leonardo da Vinci's painting. In the painting "The Madonna and Child" there is a complete entanglement of his eloquence to attest to the end that Leonardo was Homosexual. Also the analysis of Michelangelo's sculpture "Moisés" A whole artistic compendium and a new vision on the work of the sculptor of the Renaissance. I dont know. But many colleagues of mine who already had personality problems took Psychiatry as a specialty. After two years they were crazy about changing to Pathological Anatomy. In this way they solved human ailments but dissected them.




There is a new scientific theory today to which some Cuban psychiatrists have adhered. They repeat over and over that the earth is flat and not spherical as previously thought.



   Lately, hospitals have also continued to provide shelter for those who disagree with the Revolution. Although they speak coherently and defend their ideas with clarity and security, Electro Convulsive treatment for them, as well as nothing more.



   What about psychiatrists in Cuba? Is a method of torture or, with exceptions, a refuge for mediocre doctors who have had low grades in the medical career and have no other choice but to opt for psychiatry? Total, if they after a few years of exercising are ready to inhabit the Mazorra Hospital of the capital.





                 Cuba has one of the highest suicide rates in the world.









FASCINATION






Freud fascinated me. But it was hardly mentioned in the Medicine career. It seems that the Marxist theory of society, psychiatry, etc., did not match the ideas of the Jewish doctor. The Commander-in-Chief Psychiatrist, although he was the first ill patient who had to be given 3 electro shock a day, was explaining about the new Hospital for the mentally ill in Havana, Mazorra, where the madmen were finally happy and radiant Until the " Caballero de Paris ”, a mythical wanderer of the streets of the capital, dressed in a red cape and long graying hair, who was already a folkloric figure in the country, hospitalized him in“ Mazorra ”and stripped him of his original clothing and shaved his hair . The people said nothing. They did interviews for Bohemia magazine and said "how good it felt" of course, after the usual 27 electro shock


DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBAN URUGUAYAN
GENIUS

MONDAY, JUNE 17, 2019

WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DO NOT GO TO PSYCHIATRIST.





WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DO NOT GO TO PSYCHIATRIST.

  Once in consultation came a patient who showed me a paper to present in aid offices to the needy government of the day

  .-And what is this saying here? I do not understand. It was written to me by the psychiatrist who takes care of me, "he said in a broken voice" I took the sheet in my hands and read it:

  "Diogenes Syndrome mixed with Narcissus Syndrome Type II"I was thoughtful for a moment and I said:

  - Better go to a Psychoanalyst who knows a lot about Hermeneutics and Exegesis, that they know more than a psychiatrist about this disease.

   -And what is that Doctor?

  -It is about the study and decryption of ancient writers, especially the Holy Scriptures, the Bible.

  - And what do I have to do with that, Doctor? I am a calm man, I worked all my life and now that years have lifted me with a heavy burden. I come with this?

   -Ahh The psychiatrists, the psychiatrists! Go with the psychoanalyst, please, they are the best connoisseurs of mental illness. And they do not prescribe as many medications as psychiatrists that produce side effects and then more drugs come to counteract these. In the end, you are worse off than when you first came.-and continued after a pause----
  -the problem with psychoanalysts is that they take their time to diagnose it-7 or 10 years, it depends on your pocket. And also, they fall asleep at times during the consultation and from time to time they wake up to say: "continue please, continue, we are already moving forward a lot" - and after another pause- "on purpose: what time is it?""

   "But only 40 minutes have passed, Doctor!"

  I answered.And the psychoanalyst tells him with the greatest patience:-It does not matter the time if it is well taken advantage of. Until next week ... Ahh. Do not forget your credit card. A week ago my fees are not paid by you.

  -Ahh. Yes. That the psychiatrist diagnosed a metal disease that I already know.

  -YES. It seems like Doctor. But I was struck by the fact that only once, a year and a half ago, he saw me personally in his office. Then he sent his secretary to repeat the medication, like that, without more or more.

  -And why did not you complain?

  -I did not want to bother, Doctor. They work a lot because this world is getting worse: people suffering everywhere.

  - But you say here on paper you have a mental illness ...

  - What a mental illness, or mental illness! I just went to see a psychiatrist.

  The man left the office with short steps as if life itself had been shattered.

  It was not like thousands of years ago when mental illness was treated by the sorcerer or the spiritist of the village. Or if not, they stoned the individual as possessed by some evil spirit and ended with evil. Or they stoned him, hanged him, exiled him or another form of torture.

  "Then, with time, the priests arrived who, with confession, penance, repentance and praying as 28 Hail Mary and 40 Our Father, tried to cure the sick. If this did not work then they called an experience exorcist and all the demons-there were all sorts of evil spirits that tormented the sufferer's psyche, and holy remedy"

"If they were not expelled, they locked him in a special convent with a closed cell and kept him in bread and water, until they died, thus ending the root disease"

  "I saw a documentary of the black AFRICA where a sorcerer crossed in a language of his ancestors a young man, prostrate in a palm branch in the open air, to cure him of an Acute Appendicitis. Then he gave him a very old potion to drink. The young man would stand or die - the evil spirit had triumphed - but in this case the boy was cured of his ailment. It was a matter of faith and cultural tradition"

  "Then came Sigmund Freud who complicated everything with the revolution of psychoanalysis. And he went to Greek mythology-it had to be the Greeks because they were all crazy starting with Plato and his atomic theory"

  "From there arose several Syndromes that explained the complexity of the human soul: Diogenes, Oedipus, Electra-Jung-, Cronos, Ulysses. Even the Penelope Syndrome - yes, the wife of Ulises who waited for him like 20 years to be faithful, you can not see this kind of females - was mentioned in psychoanalysis"

 "But Freud did not stay calm. The human soul was so complex - and he made a pandemonium of it - then, it was not enough with so many Gods to name mental illnesses. No. He did not stay there.The Complex of Creso, that of Achilles, arose. And finally, not satisfied - the Greek Gods were running out - explained the Oedipus Complex that brought so many headaches to psychoanalysis - most of the specialists were already developing some of these Syndrome, that is, they went crazy and invented the Complex Sarah Bernard's famous actress  of the early twentieth century who mobilized crowds with their performances in the theater.

   Since it was not enough for those who had clearly explained the Doctor who revolutionized the approach to new mental illnesses, which had always existed but a man like him had to emerge to complicate things.Then came the Phobias:Ablutofobia: fear of water and washing hands-in colloquial language: the pig complex.

  Acluophobia: fear of darkness - especially applied to children who want to sleep with a candle lit or more modern, with an electric lamp. They are eliminated when the male reaches adolescence, has a girlfriend and looks for some dark place in the street to satisfy his imperious sexual need.

   The fear of darkness ceases.Agateofobia, dementofobia or maniaphobia: fear of madness or going crazy: as things are to that phobia we all sooner or later arrived especially the psychiatrists that some already have it.

  And so many Phobias that psychoanalysts and psychiatrists confused them all: one who feared the darkness called him Dark phobia, those who feared to bathe, suciofobia, and so on.

  But Freud's most controversial theory was why human beings developed attraction to the opposite sex. He called the man "fear of castration" and the woman "envy of the penis" Everything to overcome the Oedipus Complex in his childhood. I did not see that the human couple f... because yes, it is a natural and evolutionary instinct to preserve the species.

  That's why I say that Freud and Jung were already crazy when they wrote their treatises, especially Freud in "The Interpretation of Dreams" as a cartomancer that tells you what the dream means that it is usually going to break a lightning or fill your hands of money. Also in "Toten and Taboo" that I shot hidden in the University, and other studies that more than psychoanalysis or psychiatric seemed inspiration of a sensitive and observant artist.

  The cinema had not yet been developed in its fullness, but it would have been inspired by the form of the tales, spaceships, zeppelin to see "a symbolic phallus" in all of them, since man is increasingly sexually impotent and the proliferation of gays make them see those symbols everywhere.

  A patient of 92 years of clear mind, who told me that she had never suffered a Depression in her life and had been very happy, was with a psychiatrist. The doctor was speechless. Some Syndrome had to sting the old woman. And he told her that she was carrying "Methuselah Syndrome" but she was not going to leave so happy from the office. He prescribed a lot of psychotropic drugs so that the old woman would not leave without a diagnosis and treatment.

  The poor woman wanted to be put to rest because she had lived long enough, she had enjoyed life, her family had already died and she wanted the Lord to take her away, but with a little help. The doctor prescribed some drugs that put her in bed. Thus she died unconscious. This time the doctor had been very insightful.

  I also made my contribution to psychoanalysis or psychiatry when I was practicing in a city in Nicaragua.Inspired by the Judeo-Christian Holy Scriptures, I dared to invent the "Adam and Eve Syndrome".When God made Paradise He saw that it needed a human couple: man and woman He created them.

  But He did not know why He had put a male phallus and a slit among the woman's leg.The two human creatures did not know what they were for either. God for the doubt that those parts of the anatomy were going to give him many problems later He told them:

  -Eat all kinds of fruits from the garden of Eden plus that tree of juicy, bright and large peaches you will not eat because then my fury will pour out on you and the utopia of Paradise will disappear, just as before when there was nothing.

  I do not believe in the legend of the snake gossiping to the couple to eat peach fruits. The truth is that the girl, I say Eva, took a fruit one day - women are always the first in everything, especially in that of sinning - and ate it. She found it delicious and said to the man:

 - Take a bite of the fruit so you can see how good it is. If you like it, I'll make you peach pie.

   "Adam followed Eva's advice and ate the fruit of the forbidden tree.Then, a fever seized them and an unknown impulse spread through the two bodies to the point that those anatomical parts that they did not know what they were for served perfectly, giving them the greatest pleasure of their lives.The Peach tree was left without a single fruit in a few days and even the leaves disappeared

  .God found out. The Archangel Gabriel, who was a tremendous gossip and confidant, told the Almighty that his prohibition had been broken.God came down from his heavenly mansions - the dictators of today  have them with swimming pools and all the luxury that the people do not enjoy.

  And cursed Adam and Eva  lose the Paradise that had cost so much to build - in those days the mortar, beasts and birds had to be imported from all over the world , which had cost an incalculable fortune to the entire celestial court that was immersed in a great spiritual inflation.Total. If those anatomical accidents He had created them to obtain offspring and the human species did not disappear.

   I never knew why He had forbidden them to use them. Was it for the pleasure they brought, something that HE was deprived of?

  A reliable example of this Adam and Eve Syndrome that I discovered was provided by my consulting secretary in Nicaragua. She was a shy girl. Very well arranged and smelling of perfume. One day she asked me to ask something. She said to me with an embarrassed and modest voice, her face flushed and her head bowed:

  -Look Doctor. The problem is that my husband and I want to have a child vehemently but a year and a half ago we are trying and nothing.

  My medical instinct told me that there was something wrong with the couple's sexual relations and I said:

  -Does he use condoms or do you take pills or does man spill his seed out of your womb?- I said tactfully.

  -I do not know, Doctor. If I've never seen it-the virile member-I have not touched it or anything like that. Also, I do not take the pill and I do not know if it uses a condom or not.

  - So you do not feel pleasure?

    -Do not. I feel as if a green banana, long and hard, destroyed my insides every night.

  I was excited but I held back. It's not going to be that if I put a hand on her there would be some Syndrome of those Maniacs and I would go out screaming: "¡The doctor wanted to rape me! or something similar. That's why I did not touch her. Currently, just to talk about sex, even if you are a doctor with your patient, you are accused of sexual abuse or attempted rape. Although in those old years was usual practice sexual relations with patients more daring or between medical and paramedical personnel.

  In recent years, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts have had to modernize with the new generation of pop, young people in music, television, film and other media.

   For example some already know:

  The Jennifer Lopez Syndrome: here is a disorder of how girls feel in relation to their body. They all want to have the butt of the singer and actress. There is a real craze for insufflating silicone or some other material in the buttocks and then go out on the street with tight jeans, or tight chores in order to look a succulent B... Is there already treatment for this?

  Rapper's Syndrome: they are usually American dark-skinned men who have made millions with their raps and dress up strikingly with overcoats of open mink skins, wide-brimmed hats and multiple gold Pierces on the ears and lips. Numerous gems entangle his neck. All young people, especially dark, want to imitate them and since they do not have the millions of dollars, they fall into some kind of depression that needs psychiatric attention.

  WHITNEY SPEARS syndrome: adolescent who achieved stardom with the image of a naughty schoolgirl - incitement to pedophiles - and golden hair. After she had many millions she became rebellious, shaved her hair, became pierced and neglected her two children, to the point that she lost custody of these. Then she fought to recover them.

  Tell me psychiatrists: Does this have treatment that is not pills and pills but psychotherapy that is talking closely with patients with a lot of patience and love, who try to imitate these figures?

  We no longer have to resort to Greek Mythology. Just observe the reality around. The times change.

  Why was our pulse quickening, we were getting red and staring and an erection that broke our pants in our adolescence in front of a full color and semi-nude photo of Marilyn Monroe. What was that Syndrome that we all suffered and that made us feel guilty? We were just normal guys responding to a shock of testosterone as always, in all ages, has happened to humanity.

  Now I hope they do not call me Psychiatrophobic, some reason they have.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 11, 2019

WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DON'T GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST.

Image result for psychiatric and patients

 WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DON'T GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST.

 Some time in consultation came a patient who taught me a role to present in offices of help to those in need of the government on duty

 .- And what is this saying here? I don't understand. The psychiatrist who attends to me wrote it to me-he said in a broken voice.

. I took the sheet in my hands and read it:"Diogenes Syndrome mixed with Narcissus Syndrome Type II"

  I was thoughtful for a few moments and said:

  -Better go to a Psychoanalyst who knows a lot about Hermeneutics and Exegesis, which they know more than a psychiatrist about this disease.

 - And what is that Doctor?

  -It is about the study and decryption of ancient writers, especially the Holy Scriptures, the Bible.

  - And what do I have to do with that, Doctor? I'm a calm man, I worked my whole life and now that the years have lifted me with a heavy load. I come with this?

  -Ahh. The psychiatrists, the psychiatrists! Go with the psychoanalyst, please, who are the best connoisseurs of mental illness. And they don't prescribe as many medications as psychiatrists that produce side effects and then more drugs come to counteract these. In the end, you look worse than when you first came in.-And I continued after a pause, -the problem with psychoanalysts is that they take their time to diagnose you- 7 or 10 years, it depends on your pocket- And they also fall asleep at times during the consultation and from time to time they wake up to say: "Please continue, continue, we are already making great progress" - and after another pause - "By the way: What time is it?"
 And you say: "But it's only been 40 minutes, Doctor!"

  And the psychoanalyst tells you with the greatest patience:

  -No matter the time if it is well spent. Until next week ... Ahh. Don't forget your credit card. A week ago my fees aren't paid by you

.-Ahh. Yes. That the psychiatrist diagnosed you with a metal disease that I already know.

-YES. It seems so Doctor. But he caught my attention  only once, a year and a half ago, he saw me personally in his office. Then he sent his secretary to repeat the medication, like this, without more or more.

  -And why didn't you complain?

  -I didn't want to bother them, Doctor. They work hard because this world is getting worse: people suffering everywhere.

  -But as you say here on paper you have a mental illness...

  -What mental illness, or mental illness! I only went to see a psychiatrist.

  The old man left the office with short steps as if life itself had been shattered.

  It wasn't like thousands of years ago when mental illnesses were treated by the sorcerer or the village spiritist. Or else, they stoned the individual as possessed by some evil spirit and ended the evil.   Or they stoned him, hanged him, exiled him or another form of torture

 .Then, over time the priests arrived who, with confession, penance, repentance and prayer as 28 Hail Mary and 40 Our Father, intended to cure the sick. If this didn't work then they called an exorcist of experience and all the demons - there were all kinds of evil spirits that tormented the psyche of the sufferer, and holy remedy. If they did'nt expel them, they locked him in a special convent with a closed cell and kept him in bread and water, until he died, thus they ended the evil root.

  I saw a documentary of the black AFRICA where a sorcerer sanctified in a tongue of his ancestors a young man, prostrate on a palm branch in the open air, to cure him of an Acute Appendicitis. Then he gave him a very old potion to drink. The young man stood or died - the evil spirit had triumphed - but in this case the boy was cured of his ailment. It was a matter of faith and cultural tradition.

  Then Sigmund Freud arrived who complicated everything with the psychoanalytic revolution. And he went to Greek mythology — it had to be the Greeks because everyone was crazy starting with Plato and his atomic theory.

   There arose several Syndromes that explained the complexity of the human soul: Diogenes, Oedipus, Electra-Jung-, Cronos, Ulises. Even Penelope Syndrome - yes Ulysses' wife who waited for him for 20 years being faithful, this type of female is no longer seen - was mentioned in psychoanalysis.

  But Freud didn't remain calm. The human soul was so complex - and he made a pandemonium of it - So, it wasn't enough with so many Gods to name mental illnesses. No. He didn't stay there.The Creso Complex, the Achilles Complex, emerged. And finally, not satisfied - the Greek Gods ran out - explained the Oedipus Complex that so many headaches brought to psychoanalysis - most specialists were already developing some of these Syndrome that is, they went crazy and invented the Complex  of Complex Sarah Bernard famous actress of the early twentieth century that mobilized crowds with her performances in the theater. SARAH BERNHARDT OFFENDS CUBANS in 19 October 1905
Alleged to have classified Islanders as "Negroes  in Dress Clothes." The reality was that a cuban creole had touched her beautiful ass in the crowd.

   Since it wasn't enough for those who had clearly explained the Doctor who revolutionized the approach to new mental illnesses, which had always existed but a man like him had to emerge to complicate things.

  Then the Phobias arose:

  Ablutophobia: fear of water and hand washing - in colloquial language: the Pig Complex.

  Acluophobia: fear of darkness - especially applied to children who want to sleep with a candle lit or more modernly, with an electric lamp. This is eliminated when the boy reaches adolescence, has a girlfriend and looks for a dark place in the street to satisfy his imperative sexual need. There the fear of darkness dissapear.

  Agateophobia, dementophobia or maniaphobia: fear of madness or going crazy: how things are going to that phobia we all arrive sooner or later especially the psychiatrists who already have some.

   And so many Phobias that psychoanalysts and psychiatrists confused them all: one who feared the dark was called Dark Phobia, those who feared bathing, DirtyPhobia, and so on.

  But Freud's most controversial theory was why human beings developed attraction to the opposite sex. He called the man "fear of castration" and the woman "penis envy" All to overcome the Oedipus Complex in his childhood. He didn't see that the human couple f... because yes, it is a natural and evolutionary instinct to preserve the species.

  That's why I say that Freud and Jung were already crazy when they wrote their treatises, especially Freud in "The interpretation of dreams" as a cartomantic that tells you that it means the dream that is usually that you are going to break a lightning bolt or fill your hands of money. 

   Also in "Toten and Taboo" that I shot hidden in the University of Cuba, and other studies that more than psychoanalysis or psychiatric seemed inspiration of a sensitive and observant artist. The cinema hadn't yet developed in all its fullness but would have been inspired by the form of the rockets, spaceships, zeppelin, etc.  to see a symbolic "phallus" in all of them, because man is increasingly sexually impotent and the proliferation of Gays make them see those symbols everywhere.

  A 92-year-old patient with a clear mind, who told me that she had never suffered a Depression in her life and had been very happy, went to a psychiatrist. The doctor was speechless. Some Syndrome had to endilgate the old woman. And he told her that she was carrying “Methuselah Syndrome” but she was not going to leave like that so much as a consultation. He prescribed a lot of psychotropic drugs so that the old woman wouldn't leave without a diagnosis and treatment. The poor woman wanted to be put to rest because she had lived long enough, had enjoyed life, her family had already died and she wanted the Lord to take her now, but with a little help. The doctor prescribed some drugs that bedridden her. Thus she died unconscious. This time the doctor had been very insightful.

  I also made my contribution to Psychoanalysis or Psychiatry when I was practicing in a city in Nicaragua.

  Inspired by the Judeo-Christian Holy Scriptures, I dared to invent the "Adam and Eve Syndrome.

  "When God made Paradise He saw that  needed a human partner: man and woman He created them. But He didn't know why He had put a phallus on the man and a cleft  between  the woman legs.

  The two human creatures didn't know what they were for either. God for the doubt that those parts of the anatomy were going to give him many problems later  said:

  -You might eat all kinds of fruits from the garden of Eden less that tree of juicy, bright and large peaches, you will not eat them because then my fury will spill on you and the utopia of Paradise will disappear, as before there was nothing.

   I don't believe in the legend of the snake gossiping the couple that they ate peach fruits. The truth is that a bad creature said Eva," took a fruit one day - women are always the first in everything, especially in that of sin - and eat it"

  She found it delicious and said to the man:

  -"Bite the fruit so you can see how good it is. If you like it, I'll make you peach pie later”

  Adam followed Eva's advice and ate the fruit of the forbidden tree. 

  Then, a fever seized them and an unknown impulse spread through the two bodies to the point that those anatomical parts that they didn't know what they were for were perfectly coupled, giving them the greatest pleasure of their lives.

  The Peach tree was left without a single fruit in a few days and even the leaves disappeared.

  God found out. The Archangel Gabriel, who was tremendous gossip and confidant, told the Most High that his prohibition had been broken. God came down from their heavenly mansions - the dictators of today have them with swimming pools and all the luxury that the people don't enjoy - and cursed Adam and Eve lose the Paradise that had cost them so much to build - in those times the mortar, beasts and birds had to be imported from all over the world, which had cost the entire heavenly court an immeasurable fortune that plunged into great spiritual inflation.

  Total. If they don't have those anatomical accidents Gog himself had created them to obtain offspring and the human species  disappeared. He never knew why He had forbidden them to use them. Was it because of the pleasure they brought, which He was deprived of?

  A reliable example of this Adam and Eve Syndrome that I discovered was provided by my consulting secretary in Nicaragua. She was a shy girl. Very well arranged and fragrant with perfume. One day she asked me that she wanted to ask me something. She said in a shameful and modest voice, with her face on and her head down:

 -Look Doctor. The problem is that my husband and I eagerly wish to have a child but we have been trying for a year and a half and nothing.

   My medical instinct told me that there were something wrong with the couple's sexual relations and I said:

   - Does he use condoms or do you take the pills or does the man spill his seed out of your gut? -I told her very tactfully.

   -I don't know, Doctor. If I have never seen him - the virile member - I haven't touched it or anything like that. Also, I don't take the pill and I don't know if I he uses a condom or not.

-So you don't feel pleasure?

-No Doctor. I feel like a green banana, long and hard, will destroy my guts every night.

   -What position do they make love in? -I asked.

   - On all fours always, as if I were a bitch.

   My mind lit up:

  - So your husband penetrates you against nature?

  - And what is that, Doctor?

  -He never puts himself on top of you and makes love to you from the front slit?

  No. Doctor. Isn't that opening to urinate and for a baby to 
  be born?

-"Virgin Mary," I said in amazement, "then you are still a virgin!"

-Oh my God. Do not mention our Dear Mother of Christ in this filth!

-I meant that you are still like a virgin for not making love as God commands.-I paused-Bring your husband to the office to talk to him. He is a donkey with two legs.That's why you didn't have a baby.

  My brain lit up with Adam and Eve Syndrome before the original sin. I explained some sexual techniques that I should carry out, etc. etc. As the girl was beautiful and very desirable I approached her to be more explicit. I was excited but I restrained myself. It won't be that if I put a hand on there would produce some Syndrome of those Maniacs and go outside screaming: "The doctor wanted to rape me!" or something similar. That's why I didn't touch her. 

  Currently, just to talk about sex even if you are a doctor with your female patient, they accuse you of sexual abuse or attempted rape. Although in those years it was usual practice sexual relations with more daring patients or between cuban medical and paramedical staff.

   In recent years, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts have had to modernize with the new pop generation of young people from music, television, film and other media. For example some already know:

   Jennifer Lopez Complex: here is a disorder of how girls feel in relation to the body. Everyone wants to have the butt of the singer and actress. There is a real mania to blow silicone or some other material on the buttocks and then go outside with tight jeans, or tight short closed to show off a succulent A... Is there already treatment for this?

  Rapper Complex: they are generally American negroes who have made millions with their raps and dress strikingly with overcoats of open mink skins, wide-brimmed hats and multiple Gold pierces on the ears and lips. Numerous jewels tangletheir neck. All young people, especially brownyoung men, wants to imitate them and since they don't have the millions of dollars, they fall into some type of depression that needs psychiatric attention.

WHITNEY SPEARS COMPLEX: adolescent who reached stardom with the image of a naughty schoolgirl - incitement to pedophiles - and golden hair. After, she had many millions she became rebellious, she rubbed hers hair, got pierced and neglected her two hand neglecting her two children, to the point that she lost custody of them. Then she fought to recover them. 

  Tell me psychiatrists do these mental dissorder has treatment other than pills and pills but psychotherapy, which is to talk closely with patients with a lot of patience and love, who try to imitate these figures? 

  We no longer have to resort to Greek mythology. Just observe the reality around. The times change. 

  Why our pulse accelerated, we were red and staring and an erection that broke our pants in our teens in front of a full-color and semi-nude photo of Marilyn Monroe. What was that syndrome that we all suffered and that made us feel guilty? We were just normal boys responding to a testosterone discharge as always, at all times, it has happened with humanity. 

   Now I hope you all don't call me Psychiatrophobic, you have some reason.

                Dr. Orlando Vicente Alvarez

MONDAY, JUNE 17, 2019

¿CON LA SOGA AL CUELLO? NO IR AL PSIQUIATRA.












¿CON LA SOGA AL CUELLO? NO IR AL PSIQUIATRA.



  Cierta vez en consulta  vino un paciente que me enseñó un papel para presentar en oficinas de ayuda a los necesitados del  gobierno de turno.

-¿Y qué es esto que dice aquí? Yo no lo entiendo. Me lo escribió el psiquiatra que me atiende-me dijo con voz entrecortada..
  Yo tomé el  pliego en mis manos y lo leí:

  “Síndrome de Diógenes mezclado con el Síndrome de Narciso Tipo II”

   Yo quedé pensativo unos instantes y le dije:

  .-Mejor vaya a un Psicoanalista que sabe mucho de Hermenéutica y Exegesis, que ellos saben más que un psiquiatra sobre esta enfermedad.

  -¿Y qué es eso Doctor?

  -Se trata del estudio y des escriptamiento  de escritoras antiguas, sobre todo de las Santas Escrituras, la Biblia.

 - ¿Y yo que tengo que ver con eso, Doctor? Soy un hombre tranquilo, trabajé toda la vida y ahora que ya los años me levantan con pesada carga. Me vienen con esto?

  -Ahh. ¡Los psiquiatras, los psiquiatras! Vaya con el psicoanalista, por favor, que son los mejores conocedores de las enfermedades mentales. Y no prescriben tantos medicamentos como los psiquiátras que producen efectos secundarios y luego vienen más drogas para contrarrestar estos. Al final, usted queda peor que cuando acudió por primera vez.-y continué después de una pausa-el problema con los psicoanalistas es que se toman su tiempo para diagnosticarlo-7 o 10 años, depende de su bolsillo- Y además, se duermen  a ratos  durante la consulta y de cuando en cuando se despiertan para decirle: “continúe por favor, continúe, que ya estamos avanzando mucho”- y después de otra pausa-“a propósito: ¿Qué hora es?”

  -¡Pero solo han transcurrido 40 minutos, Doctor!-vos respondé.

  Y el psicoanalista le dice con la mayor paciencia:
 -No importa el tiempo si es bien aprovechado. Hasta la semana que viene… Ahh. Que no se le olvide su tarjeta de crédito. Hace una semana que mis honorarios no son abonados por vos.    

  -Así. Que el psiquiatra le diagnosticó una enfermedad metal que ya conozco.

-SÍ. Parece que sí Doctor. Pero me llamó la atención que solo en una ocasión, hace como un año y medio, me vio personalmente en su consulta. Después mandaba a su secretaria a repetirme la  medicación, así, sin más ni más.

  -¿Y usted por qué no se quejaba?

 -No quería molestar, Doctor. Es que trabajan mucho porque este mundo está cada vez peor: gente sufriendo por todas partes.
 -Pero usted según dice aquí en el papel tiene una enfermedad mental…

 -¡Qué enfermedad mental, ni enfermedad mental! Yo solo fui a ver a un psiquiatra.

  El señor salió de la consulta con pasos cortos como si la vida misma se le hubiera hecho pedazos.

 

   No era como hace miles de años en que las enfermedades mentales las trataba el brujo o el espiritista de la aldea. O si no, apedreaban al individuo como poseído por algún espíritu maligno y se acababa con el mal. O lo lapidaban, lo ahorcaban, lo exiliaban u otra forma de tortura.

   Después, con el tiempo llegaron los sacerdotes que con la confesión, la penitencia, el arrepentimiento  y el rezar como 28 Ave María y 40 Padre Nuestro, pretendían curar al enfermo. Si esto no daba resultado entonces llamaban a un exorcista de experiencia y todos los demonios-habían todas clases de espíritus malignos que atormentaban la psiquis del sufriente, y remedio santo. Si no los expulsaban,  lo encerraban en un convento especial con una celda cerrada y lo mantenían a pan y agua, hasta que moria, así acababan con el mal de raíz.

   Vi un documental del AFRICA negra donde un brujo santiguaba en una lengua de sus antepasados a un joven, prostrado en una rama de palma al aire libre, para curarlo de una Apendicitis Aguda. Después le daba a beber una pócima muy antigua. El joven se ponía de pie o moría- el espíritu maligno había triunfado- pero en este caso el chico se curó de su dolencia. Era un asunto de fe y de tradición cultural.

  Entonces llegó Sigmund Freud que lo complicó todo con la revolución del psicoanálisis. Y acudió a la mitología griega-tenía que ser los griegos pues todos estaban locos empezando con Platón y su teoría atómica.

  De ahí surgieron varios Síndromes  que explicaba la complejidad del alma humana: Diógenes, Edipo, Electra-Jung-,  Cronos, Ulises. Hasta  el Síndrome de Penélope –sí la esposa de Ulises que lo esperó como 20 años siéndole fiel, ya no se ve este tipo de féminas-  se mencionó en el psicoanálisis.

  Pero Freud no se quedó tranquilo. El alma humana era tan compleja- y él hizo un pandemonio de ella- Entonces, no era suficiente con tantos Dioses para nombrar las enfermedades mentales. No. No se quedó ahí.

  Surgió el Complejo de   Creso, el de Aquiles. Y por último, no satisfecho- se le acababan los Dioses Griegos -explicó el Complejo de Edipo que tantos dolores de cabeza trajeron al psicoanálisis-la mayoría de los especialistas ya estaban desarrollando algunos de estos Síndrome o sea, se volvían locos e inventaron el Complejo de Sarah  Bernard famosa actriz de comienzo del siglo XX que movilizaba a multitudes con sus actuaciones en el teatro. SARAH BERNHARDT ofende a los los cubanos 19 de octubre de 1905. Alegado haber clasificado a los isleños como "Negros con ropa de vestir". La realidad era que un criollo cubano había tocado su hermoso trasero entre la multitud.

 Ya que no le bastaban los que había explicado claramente el Doctor que revolucionó  el acercamiento a las nuevas enfermedades mentales, que siempre habían existido pero tenía que surgir un hombre como él para complicar las cosas.


Entonces surgieron las Fobias:

  Ablutofobia: miedo al agua y a la lavarse las manos-en lenguaje coloquial: el Complejo del cerdo.
.
  Acluofobia: miedo a la obscuridad- sobre todo aplicada a los niños que quieren dormir con una vela prendida o más modernamente, con una lámpara eléctrica. Se les elimina cuando el varón llega a la adolescencia, tiene una noviecita y busca algún sitio oscuro en la calle para satisfacer su imperiosa necesidad sexual. Hay cesa el miedo a la oscuridad.

   Agateofobia, dementofobia o maniafobia: miedo a la locura o a volverse loco: como están las cosas a esa fobia llegamos todos tarde o temprano sobre todo los psiquiatras que ya algunos la tienen.
.
   Y así tantas Fobias que los psicoanalistas y los psiquiatras las confundían todas: a uno que le temía a la oscuridad le llamaban Oscuro fobia, a los que temían bañarse, suciofobia, y así sucesivamente.

  Pero la teoría de Freud más polémica era el por qué lo seres humanos desarrollaban atracción hacia el sexo opuesto. Le llamó al hombre “miedo a la castración” y la mujer “envidia del pene” Todo para superar el Complejo de Edipo en su niñez. No veía que la pareja humana  c… porque sí, es un instinto natural y evolutivo para preservar la especie.

  Por eso digo que Freud y Jung ya estaban locos cuando escribieron sus tratados, sobre todo Freud en “La interpretación de los sueños” como un cartomántico que te dice que significa el sueño que generalmente es que te va a partir un rayo o llenarte las manos de dinero.  También en “Toten y Tabú” que me disparé escondido en la Universidad, y otros estudios que más que psicoanálisis o psiquiátricos parecían inspiración de un artista sensible y observador. Todavía no se había desarrollado el cine en toda su plenitud sino se hubiera inspirado en la forma de los cuetes, naves espaciales, zepelín para ver “un falo” simbólico en todos ellos, pues el hombre cada día es más impotente sexualmente y la proliferación de los gays les hace ver esos símbolos en todas partes. 

  Una paciente de 92 años  de mente clara, que me decía que nunca había sufrido ni una Depresión en su vida y que había sido muy feliz, fue con un psiquiatra.  El doctor se quedó mudo. Algún Síndrome tenía que endilgarle a la anciana. Y le dijo que portaba “El Síndrome de Matusalén” pero ella no iba a irse así tan campante de  la consulta. Le prescribió un montón de psicofármacos para que la vieja no se fuera sin un diagnóstico y tratamiento. La pobre mujer quería que la pusieran a descansar pues ya había vivido lo suficiente, había disfrutado de la vida, su familia ya había muerto y quería que el  Señor la llevara ya, pero con una pequeña ayudita. El médico le prescribió algunas drogas que la postraron en cama. Así murió inconsciente. Esta vez el médico había sido muy perspicaz.

  Yo también hice mi aporte al psicoanálisis o la psiquiatría cuando ejercía en una ciudad de Nicaragua.

  Inspirado en las  Santas Escrituras judeo-cristianas, me atreví a inventar el “Síndrome de Adam y Eva”.

  Cuando  Dios hizo el Paraíso vio que necesitaba una pareja humana: hombre y mujer los creo. Pero no sabía por qué le había puesto un falo al Varón y una hendidura en la entre pierna a la mujer.

  Las dos criaturas humanas tampoco sabían para qué servían. Dios por la duda de que aquellas partes de la anatomía iban más tarde a darle muchos problemas les dijo:

 -Coman todo tipo de frutas del jardín del Edén más de aquel árbol de jugosos, brillantes  y grandes  melocotones no comeréis porque entonces mi furia se derramará sobre ustedes y la utopía del Paraíso desaparecerá, igual que antes en que no había nada.


  No creo en la leyenda de la serpiente chismeándole a la pareja de que comieran frutos de melocotones. Lo cierto es que la varona digo Eva, tomó un día una fruta- las mujeres siempre son las primeras en todo, sobre todo en eso de pecar-y se la comió. La encontró deliciosa y dijo  al varón:

  -Da un mordisco a la fruta para que veas qué buena es. Si te gusta, te haré luego pastel de melocotones.- Adám siguió el consejo de Eva y comió de la fruta del árbol prohibido.

  Entonces, una fiebre los embargó y un impulso desconocido se extendió por los dos cuerpos al punto que aquellas partes anatómicas que no sabían para que servían, se acoplaron perfectamente dándole el mayor placer de sus vidas.
  El árbol de Melocotones quedó sin un solo fruto en unos pocos días y hasta las hojas desaparecieron.

  Dios se enteró. El Arcángel Gabriel, que era tremendo chismoso y confidente, le contó al Altísimo de que se había quebrantado su prohibición.

  Dios bajó de sus mansiones celestiales- los dictadores de hoy día las tienen con piscinas y todo el lujo que el pueblo no disfruta- y maldijo a Adam y Eva a perder el Paraíso que tanto le había costado construir- en aquellos tiempos la argamasa, bestias y aves había que importarlas de todo el mudo, lo que le había costado una incalculable fortuna a toda la corte celestial que se sumergió en una gran inflación espiritual.    

  Total. Si aquellos accidentes anatómicos El mismo los había creado para obtener descendencia y no desapareciera la especie humana. Nunca supe por qué les había prohibido usarlos. ¿Sería por el placer que aportaban, cosa de la que EL estaba privado?

  Un ejemplo fehaciente de este Síndrome de Adam y Eva que yo descubrí me lo aportó mi secretaria de consulta en Nicaragua. Era una chica tímida. Muy bien arreglada y olorosa a perfume. Un día me pidió que quería consultarme algo. Me dijo con voz avergonzada y pudorosa, con el rostro encendido y la cabeza gacha:

  -Mire Doctor. El problema es que mi marido y yo deseamos vehementemente tener un hijo pero hace año y medio que lo estamos intentando y nada.

  Mi instinto médico me dijo que existía algo erróneo en las relaciones sexuales de la pareja y le dije:

  -¿Él usa preservativos o vos tomás las píldoras o el hombre derrama su semilla fuera de tu entraña? -le dije con mucho tacto.

  -No sé, Doctor. Si yo nunca se lo he visto -el  miembro viril- ni se lo he tocado ni nada semejante. Además, no tomo la píldora y no sé si usa preservativo o no.

  -¿Entonces usted no siente placer?

  -No. Siento como si una banana verde, larga y dura, me destrozara las entrañas cada noche.

  -¿En qué posición hacen el amor?-pregunté,


  -En cuatro patas siempre, como si yo fuera una perra.


   A mi la mente se me iluminó:


  -¿Entonces su marido la penetra contra natura?


  -¿Y qué es eso, Doctor?


  -¡El no se coloca nunca encima de vos y le hace el amor por la hendidura de adelante!


  -No. Doctor. ¿Esa apertura no es para orinar y para que nazca un Bebe?


 -¡Ave Maria-dije asombrado- entonces vos sos virgen todavía!


 -¡Por Dios. No mencione a nuestra Queridísima Madre de Cristo en esta suciedad!


  -Quise decir que aun eres como una virgen por no hacer el amor como Dios manda.-hice una pausa-Traeme a tu esposo a la consulta para hablar con él. Es un burro con dos patas. Por eso no tenían un bebé.



  A mí se me iluminó el cerebro con el Síndrome de Adam y Eva antes del pecado original.


  Le expliqué algunas técnicas sexuales que debería llevar a cabo, etc. etc.  Como la chica era hermosa y muy deseable me acerqué a ella para ser más explícito. Estaba yo excitado pero me contuve.

  No vaya a ser que si le metía mano allí mismo le produciría algún Síndrome de esos Maníacos y saliera calle afuera gritando: ¡El médico me quiso violar! o algo parecido. Por eso no la toqué. Actualmente por solo hablar de sexo aunque seas un médico con su paciente te acusan de abuso sexual o intento de violación. Aunque en aquellos años era práctica habitual las relaciones sexuales con pacientes más osadas o entre el personal médico y paramédico.        

  En los últimos años los psiquiatras y psicoanalistas han tenido que modernizarse con la nueva generación pop, de jóvenes de la música, la televisión, el cine y otros medios. Por ejemplo algunos ya conocen:

  El Síndrome de Jennifer López:  aquí hay un trastorno de cómo se sienten las chicas en relación con el cuerpo. Todas quieren tener el trasero de la cantante y actriz. Hay una verdadera manía para insuflarse silicona o algún otro material en las nalgas y luego salir a la calle con vaqueros ceñidos, o chores apretados a fin de lucir un C… suculento. ¿Ya existe tratamiento para esto?

  Síndrome del Rapero: generalmente son morenos americanos que han hecho millones con sus raps y se visten llamativamente con sobretodos de pieles de visón abiertos, sombreros de ala ancha y múltiple Pierces de oro en las orejas y labios. Numerosas joyas le enredan el cuello. Todos los jóvenes, sobre todo morenos, quieren imitarlos y como no tienen los millones de dólares caen en algún tipo de depresión que necesita atención psiquiátrica.

  Síndrome de WHITNEY SPEARS: adolescente que alcanzó el estrellato con imagen de colegiala traviesa- incitación a los pedófilos-y cabellera dorada. Después que tenía muchos millones se volvió rebelde, se rapó el pelo, se puso piercing y descuido a sus dos hijos, al punto que perdió la custodia de estos. Luego luchó para recuperarlos.

   Díganme psiquiatras ¿Tiene tratamiento esto que no sean píldoras y píldoras sino psicoterapia que es hablar de cerca con los pacientes con mucha paciencia y amor, que tratan de imitar a estas figuras?

  Ya no hay que recurrir a la Mitología Griega. Solo observar la realidad alrededor. Los tiempos cambian.

  ¿Por qué se nos aceleraba el pulso, nos poníamos rojos y con la mirada fija y una erección que rompía el pantalón en nuestra adolescencia frente a una foto a todo color y semi desnuda de Marilyn Monroe. ¿Cuál era ese Síndrome que todos padecimos y que nos hacía sentir culpables?

  Éramos simplemente chicos normales respondiendo a una descarga de testosterona como siempre, en todas las épocas, ha pasado con la humanidad.


  Ahora espero que no me tilden de Psiquiatrofóbico, alguna razón tienen.

   Dr. Orlando Vicente Alvarez

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