BUFFALOES,BY ORLANDO VICENTE

 

 agronomist in chief, physician in chief, cowboy in chief and other more stupides.

FIDEL: AGRONOMIST IN CHIEF, PHYSICIAN IN CHIEF, COWBOY IN CHIEF AND OTHER MORE STUPIDES.

   Taking advantage of the influence that Fidel Castro had on the people - there was no one to oppose his absurd inventions - his proven charisma, his tireless verbiage in front of the TV cameras or the radio, began to interfere in all kinds of matters that they corresponded to their ministers or other responsible parties.

  It seems that no flatterer could speak to him of a new idea for the development of the country that he immediately made it his own and he proclaimed it to the four winds so that everybody could see how wise he was and the hope of the people in a better future did not die.

  First was the matter of Café Caturla whose plantation throughout the island, including the courtyards of the houses, the apartment balconies and the pavements of the sidewalks, would solve the scarcity of grain that was scarce and its price on the black market exceeded that of gold raw.

  I remember as a child planting the Caturla coffee in the gardens of my school and stealing a plant that I grew in my pastyard.

  Of course that coffee failed miserably. It was not for a tropical country like ours and as the true coffee plants of the mountains needed a bit of shade from the giant trees that surrounded them. So we had Café caturla goes, coffee caturla comes, until all the plants died in the country. He did not make any self-criticism but some head rolled. Always blaming other for his failures.

  Then it was the turn of the Zacarina: sugarcane crushed to powder to feed the cattle. The newspapers did nothing but talk about the zucarina. At last a panacea to feed the dwindling cattle whose meat was rationed since the beginning of the revolution and milk even more, only for children. The chief surveyor. There was no one who knew more about Agriculture than he did. Suddenly there was no more talk of the happy food. The cattle, accustomed to the Cuban grass, died with the zacarina. Some other head was cut off.

  Then It  enter the Hit Parade the Zeolite. A kind of small pebbles that were placed in the ulcers of the patients' legs. Then began the speeches of the commander about the benefits of the zeolites and that they were almost miraculous. The members of the PCC when they had wounds or ulcers said: please, antisepsis, nurse, with foreign antiseptics but not, please, with zeolite. That is for the people.

  If he got information about the use of "worms" that devoured rotten tissues in the ulcers, he did not say anything, perhaps advised by a daring minister that the town was thin and covered with worms in the wounds. It was too much, they would think that they were already rotting alive. He did not talk about the worms.

   Then came the nuclear plant in Cienfuegos. This time he was more cautious because the United States told him to be careful. The truth is that they invested 1000 million dollars in the work until they discovered that the area was in seismic area and they suspended it. Disillusioned workers, it was what the commander called with the phrase "Work of Shock" returned home and everything was abandoned.

  Fidelito, a nuclear engineer, had to bear the guilt in silence but Fidel did not have compassion and replaced him as chief nuclear engineer. That was done in silence because it was his son-Fidel said he did not feel filial love for anyone, he was born deprived of that feeling-and Fidelito went into oblivion and became depressed when he fell into disgrace and a billion of the people went through the sewer. Nor was any self-criticism made.

  Before this, the so-called "Swine Fever" had been presented in Guantanamo. All the pigs had to be slaughtered, including the healthy ones - my father had a clandestine raising of small pigs in the grandmother's patio. He presented that he would see each day to feed them and he had to sacrifice them all, we were eating pork until the same smell gave us nausea- Of course some heads fell down because of this, among them, honest men and probos who went unfortunately to jail.

  And the commander in chief: silence.

    Elderly patients arrived undernourished at the hospital emergency room with edema in the lower limbs due to hypoproteinemia or lack of proteins, especially from red meat. They gave little food to their working children or their small grandchildren. They preferred to die before their offspring. And the cuban News in silence and we were silenced by the fear instilled for so many years.

  They invented a new kind of coffee. A mess of green binds with alittle true coffee. The people called rapidilly "Cafe Ñok" because when they drink it used to say "Coño" that is a expression in Cuba of something like shit.

   I went to Baconao in my car with my family and another very close friend and we saw an enclosure of crocodile breeding. Crocodiles sunbathing everywhere. This hidden place was not mentioned in the newspapers or any means of communication. Fine meat for the council of State and for foreign tourism.

  When I was traveling to the Province of Santiago de Cuba I saw some  I saw some small cows of chocolate red color. They say that Raul Castro had brought them and that they were of a strange race, to try to acclimatize themselves and taste that new meat because for the people: nothing.

  And when Castro started talking about medicine. "Fuacata "He had to swallow all the stupid things he said about diseases and treatments. Between us we called him "The Commander in Chief Doctor"

    And when he gave him the habit of importing water buffaloes - to the swamps of STGO DE CUBA or elsewhere, he spoke glories about the new cattle, how well they adapted. Of its meat, milk and even the exquisite cheeses that would be produced. Suddenly he do not speak more about the buffaloes. If it was meat for the people or an exotic for tourists. Neither the newspapers mentioned it and the people, silent.

  Before dying, when he still gave tired speeches and almost without energy, he persisted in his delusions.

   This time it was the turn of the Creole Malanga, a white tuber on the inside that is given to children or the elderly since ancient times. As if the people did not know the properties of the tubercle he was explaining about its properties. Of course, with the hunger that was going on in the Special Period, the Farmer in Chief had to speak and this time talking about a food that had long since disappeared from the state stores and that the cleverest exchanged with the peasants up the mountain. Well, give him the taro. He no longer knew what recourse to use in his speeches. But of the flesh. almost firing if you killed a cow, even if it was owned by a peasant.

  And so he died. With a piece of taro stuck in his throat and "his beloved town" missing food. They cried it with dry tears because nobody wanted it anymore - only those who want to keep their posts in the government - the newspapers do not stop talking about their exploits but never about their lies and failure.

  The new president of Spain Pedro Sanchez recently made a mysterious trip to the island, it must be because of the numerous hotels that this country has in Cuba. The Cuban press, read Granma newspaper, treated him coldly and dedicated a short article about his arrival on his cover. The rest of the newspaper loaded with fragments of the life or works of the missing commander and nothing else. Any resemblance to the North Korean Dynasty is not mere coincidence.

  Ahh. The last thing I found out, that a small northern cay were swarming "deers" as a tourist attraction and that a journalist could taste a dish of meat from the small animal, something dry but tasty meat.

 Could it be that Brother Raúl follows his example but in a more discreet way?

                                             Dr    Orlando Vicente Álvarez
cuban uruguayan
genius

READ

https://www.amazon.com/Memorias-niño-guantanamero-Guantanamero-Spanish/dp/1520725884

FIDEL: agronomist in chief, physician in chief, cowboy in chief and other more stupides.

FIDEL: AGRONOMIST IN CHIEF, PHYSICIAN IN CHIEF, COWBOY IN CHIEF AND OTHER MORE STUPIDES.

   Taking advantage of the influence that Fidel Castro had on the people - there was no one to oppose his absurd inventions - his proven charisma, his tireless verbiage in front of the TV cameras or the radio, began to interfere in all kinds of matters that they corresponded to their ministers or other responsible parties.

  It seems that no flatterer could speak to him of a new idea for the development of the country that he immediately made it his own and he proclaimed it to the four winds so that everybody could see how wise he was and the hope of the people in a better future did not die.

  First was the matter of Café Caturla whose plantation throughout the island, including the courtyards of the houses, the apartment balconies and the pavements of the sidewalks, would solve the scarcity of grain that was scarce and its price on the black market exceeded that of gold raw.

  I remember as a child planting the Caturla coffee in the gardens of my school and stealing a plant that I grew in my pastyard.

  Of course that coffee failed miserably. It was not for a tropical country like ours and as the true coffee plants of the mountains needed a bit of shade from the giant trees that surrounded them. So we had Café caturla goes, coffee caturla comes, until all the plants died in the country. He did not make any self-criticism but some head rolled. Always blaming other for his failures.

  Then it was the turn of the Zacarina: sugarcane crushed to powder to feed the cattle. The newspapers did nothing but talk about the zucarina. At last a panacea to feed the dwindling cattle whose meat was rationed since the beginning of the revolution and milk even more, only for children. The chief surveyor. There was no one who knew more about Agriculture than he did. Suddenly there was no more talk of the happy food. The cattle, accustomed to the Cuban grass, died with the zacarina. Some other head was cut off.

  Then It  enter the Hit Parade the Zeolite. A kind of small pebbles that were placed in the ulcers of the patients' legs. Then began the speeches of the commander about the benefits of the zeolites and that they were almost miraculous. The members of the PCC when they had wounds or ulcers said: please, antisepsis, nurse, with foreign antiseptics but not, please, with zeolite. That is for the people.

  If he got information about the use of "worms" that devoured rotten tissues in the ulcers, he did not say anything, perhaps advised by a daring minister that the town was thin and covered with worms in the wounds. It was too much, they would think that they were already rotting alive. He did not talk about the worms.

   Then came the nuclear plant in Cienfuegos. This time he was more cautious because the United States told him to be careful. The truth is that they invested 1000 million dollars in the work until they discovered that the area was in seismic area and they suspended it. Disillusioned workers, it was what the commander called with the phrase "Work of Shock" returned home and everything was abandoned.

  Fidelito, a nuclear engineer, had to bear the guilt in silence but Fidel did not have compassion and replaced him as chief nuclear engineer. That was done in silence because it was his son-Fidel said he did not feel filial love for anyone, he was born deprived of that feeling-and Fidelito went into oblivion and became depressed when he fell into disgrace and a billion of the people went through the sewer. Nor was any self-criticism made.

  Before this, the so-called "Swine Fever" had been presented in Guantanamo. All the pigs had to be slaughtered, including the healthy ones - my father had a clandestine raising of small pigs in the grandmother's patio. He presented that he would see each day to feed them and he had to sacrifice them all, we were eating pork until the same smell gave us nausea- Of course some heads fell down because of this, among them, honest men and probos who went unfortunately to jail.

  And the commander in chief: silence.

    Elderly patients arrived undernourished at the hospital emergency room with edema in the lower limbs due to hypoproteinemia or lack of proteins, especially from red meat. They gave little food to their working children or their small grandchildren. They preferred to die before their offspring. And the cuban News in silence and we were silenced by the fear instilled for so many years.

  They invented a new kind of coffee. A mess of green binds with alittle true coffee. The people called rapidilly "Cafe Ñok" because when they drink it used to say "Coño" that is a expression in Cuba of something like shit.

   I went to Baconao in my car with my family and another very close friend and we saw an enclosure of crocodile breeding. Crocodiles sunbathing everywhere. This hidden place was not mentioned in the newspapers or any means of communication. Fine meat for the council of State and for foreign tourism.

  When I was traveling to the Province of Santiago de Cuba I saw some  I saw some small cows of chocolate red color. They say that Raul Castro had brought them and that they were of a strange race, to try to acclimatize themselves and taste that new meat because for the people: nothing.

  And when Castro started talking about medicine. "Fuacata "He had to swallow all the stupid things he said about diseases and treatments. Between us we called him "The Commander in Chief Doctor"

    And when he gave him the habit of importing water buffaloes - to the swamps of STGO DE CUBA or elsewhere, he spoke glories about the new cattle, how well they adapted. Of its meat, milk and even the exquisite cheeses that would be produced. Suddenly he do not speak more about the buffaloes. If it was meat for the people or an exotic for tourists. Neither the newspapers mentioned it and the people, silent.

  Before dying, when he still gave tired speeches and almost without energy, he persisted in his delusions.

   This time it was the turn of the Creole Malanga, a white tuber on the inside that is given to children or the elderly since ancient times. As if the people did not know the properties of the tubercle he was explaining about its properties. Of course, with the hunger that was going on in the Special Period, the Farmer in Chief had to speak and this time talking about a food that had long since disappeared from the state stores and that the cleverest exchanged with the peasants up the mountain. Well, give him the taro. He no longer knew what recourse to use in his speeches. But of the flesh. almost firing if you killed a cow, even if it was owned by a peasant.

  And so he died. With a piece of taro stuck in his throat and "his beloved town" missing food. They cried it with dry tears because nobody wanted it anymore - only those who want to keep their posts in the government - the newspapers do not stop talking about their exploits but never about their lies and failure.

  The new president of Spain Pedro Sanchez recently made a mysterious trip to the island, it must be because of the numerous hotels that this country has in Cuba. The Cuban press, read Granma newspaper, treated him coldly and dedicated a short article about his arrival on his cover. The rest of the newspaper loaded with fragments of the life or works of the missing commander and nothing else. Any resemblance to the North Korean Dynasty is not mere coincidence.

  Ahh. The last thing I found out, that a small northern cay were swarming "deers" as a tourist attraction and that a journalist could taste a dish of meat from the small animal, something dry but tasty meat.

 Could it be that Brother Raúl follows his example but in a more discreet way?

                                             Dr    Orlando Vicente Álvarez
cuban uruguayan
genius

READ

https://www.amazon.com/Memorias-niño-guantanamero-Guantanamero-Spanish/dp/1520725884

EL SABELOTODO SE RESBALA : agrónomo en jefe, médico en jefe, ganadero en jefe y otras boberias más

FIDEL: AGRÓNOMO  EN JEFE, MÉDICO EN JEFE, GANADERO EN JEFE Y OTRAS ESTUPIDESES MAS.

   Aprovechando la influencia que tenía Fidel Castro sobre el pueblo- ya no había nadie que se le opusiera a sus absurdos inventos- su carisma comprobado, su verborrea incansable frente a las cámaras de TV o la radio, comenzó  a inmiscuirse en todo tipo de asuntos que correspondían a sus ministros u otros responsables.

  Parece que ningún adulador podía hablarle de una nueva idea para el desarrollo del país que él inmediatamente la hacía suya y la pregonaba a los cuatro vientos para que todo el mundo viera lo sabio que era y no muriera la esperanza del pueblo en un futuro  mejor.

  Primero fue el asunto de Café Caturla cuya plantación en toda la isla, incluido los patios de las casas, los balcones de apartamentos y los canteros de las aceras, resolverían  la escases del grano que escaseaba y su precio en el mercado negro rebasaba el del oro en bruto.

  Yo recuerdo cuando niño plantar el café Caturla en los jardines de mi escuela y de robarme una planta que cultivé en mi patio.

  Por supuesto que dicho café fracasó  rotundamente. No era para un país tropical como el nuestro y como las verdaderas plantas de café de las montañas necesitaba un poco de sombra de los arboles gigantes que los rodeaban. Así tuvimos Café caturla va, café caturla viene, hasta que todas  las plantas murieron en el país. Él no se hizo autocrítica  alguna pero alguna cabeza rodó. Siempre echándole la culpa de sus fracasos.

  Después le tocó el turno a la Zacarina: caña de azúcar triturada hasta hacerla polvo para alimentar el ganado. Los periódicos no hacían más que hablar de la zucarina. Al fin una panacea para alimentar el menguado ganado cuya carne estaba racionada desde el principio de la revolución y la leche más aun, solo para los niños. El agrimensor en jefe. No había nadie que supiera más de Agricultura que él. De repente   no se habló más del dichoso alimento. El ganado, acostumbrado al pasto cubano se moría con la zacarina. Alguna otra cabeza fue cortada.

  Después entro en Hit Parade la Zeolita. Una especie de pequeñas piedrecitas que se colocaban en las úlceras de las piernas de los pacientes. Entonces empezaron los discursos del comandante sobre las bondades de las zeolitas y que eran casi milagrosas. Los miembros del PCC cuando tenían heridas o úlceras decían: antisepsia por favor enfermera con antisépticos extranjeros pero no, por favor, con zeolita. Eso es para el pueblo.

  Si le llegó información sobre el uso de “gusanos” que devoraban tejidos podridos en las úlceras, no dijo nada, quizás aconsejado por un ministro osado que el pueblo estaba flaco y de contra verse cubierto de gusanos en las heridas. Era demasiado, pensarían que ya estaban pudriéndose vivos. No habló de los gusanos.     

   Después vino lo de la planta nuclear en Cienfuegos. Esta vez fue más cauto pues Estados Unidos le dijo que tuviera cuidado. Lo cierto es que se invirtieron 1000 millones de dólares en la obra hasta que descubrieron que la zona estaba en  área  sísmica y la suspendieron. Los trabajadores desilusionados, pues era lo que comandante llamaba con la frasecita “Obra de Choque” volvieron a casa y todo quedó abandonado. Fidelito, ingeniero nuclear, tuvo que cargar con la culpa en silencio pero Fidel no tuvo compasión y lo sustituyo de ingeniero nuclear en jefe. Eso se hizo en silencio pues era su hijo-Fidel dicen que no sentía  amor filial  por nadie, había nacido privado de ese sentimiento-y Fidelito pasó al olvido y se deprimió al caer en desgracia y mil millones del pueblo se fueron por la cloaca. Tampoco se hizo autocrítica alguna.

  Antes de esto se había presentado la llamada “Fiebre Porcina” en Guantánamo. Hubo que sacrificar a todos los cerdos incluyendo los sanos- mi padre tenía una crianza clandestina de pequeños cerdos en el gran patio de abuela Presenta que iba a ver cada día para alimentarlos y tuvo que sacrificarlos todos, estuvimos comiendo carne de puerco hasta que el mismo olor nos daba nauseas- Por supuesto que cayeron algunas cabezas por esto, entre ellos, hombres honestos y probos que fueron desgraciadamente a la cárcel.

  Y el comandante en jefe: silencio.

    Los pacientes ancianos llegaban desnutridos a la emergencia del hospital con edemas en miembros inferiores por la  hipoproteinemia o la falta de proteínas sobre todo procedentes de las carnes rojas. Les daban el poco alimento a sus hijos trabajadores o a sus pequeños nietos. Preferían morir ellos antes que su descendencia. Y el Noticiero en silencio y nosotros enmudecidos por el miedo inculcado durante tantos años.
   Luego inventaron un nuevo gusto para el café que el pueblo rapidamente bautizó "Cafe- Ñok, porque cuando el pueblo llano y liso lo degustaba maldecía "Coñó" o sea, sabia a mierda. 

   Yo fui a Baconao en mi auto con mi familia y otra muy amiga y vimos un cercado de crianza de cocodrilos. Cocodrilos tomando el sol por todas partes. Este recóndito sitio no se mencionaba en los periódicos ni ningún medio de comunicación. Carne fina para el consejo de Estado y para el turismo extranjero.

  Cuando viajaba a la Provincia de Santiago de Cuba veía unas vaquitas chicas y color rojo chocolate. Dicen que las había traído Raúl Castro y que eran de una raza extraña, para probar si se aclimataban y degustar ellos mismos aquella nueva carne porque para el pueblo: nada.

  Y cuando Castro se ponía a hablar de medicina. Fuácata. Habia que tragarse todas las estupideces que decia sobre enfermedades y tratamientos. Entre nosotros le llamábamos “ El comandante Medico en jefe”

    Y cuando le dio la manía de importar Búfalos de agua - a las ciénagas de STGO DE CUBA  u otro lugar, -hablaba glorias del nuevo ganado, lo bien que se adaptaba. De su carne, leche y hasta de los exquisitos quesos que se producirían.  De repente no hablo más de los búfalos. Si era carne para el pueblo o un exotismo para turistas. Ni los periódicos lo mencionaban y el pueblo, callado.

  Antes de morir, cuando aún daba discursos cansinos y casi sin energía persistía en sus ideas delirantes.

   Esta vez le tocó el turno a la criolla Malanga, tubérculo  blanco por dentro que se les  da a los niños o ancianos desde  época antiquísima. Como si el pueblo no conociera las propiedades del tubérculo él se explayaba sobre sus propiedades. Claro, con el hambre que se pasaba en el Periodo Especial tenía que hablar el Agricultor en jefe y esta vez hablando de un alimento que hacía tiempo había desaparecido de las tiendas estatales y que los más listos intercambiaban con los campesinos montaña arriba. Pues dale con la malanga. Ya no sabía a qué recurso recurrir en sus discursos. Pero de la carne. Casi fusilamiento si matabas a una vaca, aunque fuera propiedad de un campesino.

  Y así murió. Con un trozo de malanga atorado en su garganta y “su querido pueblo” añorando alimentos. Lo lloraron con lágrimas secas pues ya nadie lo quería-solo los que quieren conservar sus puestos en el gobierno-los periódicos no cesan de hablar de sus hazañas pero nunca de sus mentiras y fracaso.

  El nuevo presidente de España  Pedro Sánchez hizo recientemente un misterioso viaje a la isla, debe ser por los numerosos hoteles que tiene ese país en Cuba. La prensa cubana, léase diario Granma, lo trató fríamente y le dedico en su portada un corto artículo sobre su llegada. El resto del diario cargado con fragmentos de la vida u obra del desaparecido comandante y nada más. Cualquier semejanza con la Dinastía de Corea del Norte no es mera coincidencia.        

  Ahh. Lo último que me enteré, que un  pequeño cayo del norte pululaban “venados” como atracción turística y que un periodista pudo paladear un plato de carne del pequeño animal, carne algo seca pero sabrosa. ¿Será que el Hermano Raúl sigue su ejemplo pero en forma más discreta?

                                               Dr  Orlando Vicente Álvarez
cubano uruguayo
genio 


LEA


   https://www.amazon.com/Memorias-niño-guantanamero-Guantanamero-Spanish/dp/1520725884