HUMOR. THE FIRST CONDON
THE FIRST CONDOM.
Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
URUGUAYAN CUBAN,GENIUS
Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
URUGUAYAN CUBAN,GENIUS
FRIDAY, MARCH 9, 2018
EL PRIMER CONDÓN. Fragmento del libro CUENTOS BREVES PARA ADULTOS. Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
EL PRIMER CONDÓN.
Fragmento del libro CUENTOS BREVES PARA ADULTOS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
Es la historia de un adolescente que veía a sus amigos jactarse de que llevaban dos condones eternoss en el bolsillo.
Al fin tuvo su primera novia y estaba ardiendo por hacer el amor.
Fue a la farmacia y esperó que saliera el farmacéutico a atender pero a la vez salió la farmacéutica.
Cohibido a más no poder le preguntaron qué deseaba. Se le trabó la lengua y dijo tartamudeando:
-Un con… con… un conservativo, por favor.
Los farmacéuticos se miraron uno al otro y le dijeron:
_¿Un conservativo de qué? Querrás decir un preservativo, no es así- dijo el hombre.
·Eso, eso… un pre… preser… va…tivo.
Ya satisfecha la demanda el chico quedó perplejo de donde lo escondería de la vista de sus padres. Se le ocurrió colocarlo en la punta del zapato que en aquellos tiempos eran de cuero y se colocó las medias por encima para estar bien seguro.
Cuando llegó la gran noche, en un parque oscuro lleno de árboles se entusiasmaron y cuando el chico estaba bien caliente quiso sacarse el condón pero tuvo que desabrochar cordones y quitarse el zapato.
El acto fue breve. Cuando terminaron- dos minutos después, el chico estaba sin un zapato y la chica se quejaba de que se sus padres la iban a matar.
Al fin el chico encontró el zapato y la media entre la maleza.
A los dos meses: el embarazo, pero todo se resolvió con una boda rápida.
Nació un varón.
Como los condones tenían dos maripositas en el frente. Al bebé le pusieron por nombre Papillón
Moraleja: nunca confíes en los condones chinos que eran los únicos que entraban en Cuba en aquellos tiempos.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBANO URUGUAYO
GENIO
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