THE FIRST CONDOM.
Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
URUGUAYAN CUBAN,GENIUS
THE GIRL SCREAMED AND SCREAMED ALL NIGHT UNTIL NEIGHBORING ADA JUMPED THE FENCE SEPARATING THE TWO YARDS AND CARRIED HOME BY PITY. AS A RESULT OF THAT PUNISHMENT OR DISEASE MARILÚ HAD GIVEN HER A FACIAL PARALYSIS AND HAD CONTRACTED ONE SIDE OF THE FACE AS IF SHE WAS LAUGHING ALL THE TIME. BUT IT WAS GOOD AND HELPFUL.
MIMI BIG PISS, AS THE GAME WORE ON, SAT AT US AND PLACED ON A STONE WITH NORMAL FACE AGAINST THE NEIGHBORING WALL SO THAT IT SEEMED SHE WAS ALWAYS LAUGHING AND THAT ENCOURAGED US IN THE GAME HAVE SUCH AN ATTENTIVE AMATEUR.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
URUGUAYAN CUBAN,GENIUS
HUMOR: MIMI BIG PISS.
MIMI BIG PISS.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBAN URUGUAYAN,GENIUS
WATERFRONT HOME THERE WAS A VACANT LOT WHERE WE PLAYED BALL IN OUR LEISURE TIME. THE PROBLEM WAS WHEN WE HAD NO BALL TO PLAY BUT FOR THOSE CASES WE HAD TO “MIMI BIG PISS”.
IT WAS A GIRL ABOUT 13 YEARS OLD THAT STILL WET THE BED, HIS MOTHER, AN INDIAN WOMAN WHO GAVE WHAT MY MOTHER CALLED "RAGES" THAT IS, THAT SOMETIMES STARTED TO SCREAM AND FIGHT RANTING IN A WAY CAGED LIONESS HEARD THROUGHOUT THE BLOCK. THE TRUTH WAS THAT WHEN MARYLOU THAT WAS THE REAL NAME OF THE DAUGHTER PEED IN BED AT NIGHT. SHE WAS TIED WITH A ROPE TO THE TRUNK OF A COCONUT TREE IN THE YARD AND THE MOTHER GAVE HER A RAGE.
THE GIRL SCREAMED AND SCREAMED ALL NIGHT UNTIL NEIGHBORING ADA JUMPED THE FENCE SEPARATING THE TWO YARDS AND CARRIED HOME BY PITY. AS A RESULT OF THAT PUNISHMENT OR DISEASE MARILÚ HAD GIVEN HER A FACIAL PARALYSIS AND HAD CONTRACTED ONE SIDE OF THE FACE AS IF SHE WAS LAUGHING ALL THE TIME. BUT IT WAS GOOD AND HELPFUL.
WE CALLED HER BECAUSE SHE HAD A RUSTY OLD DOLL AND ALL THAT. IT HAD MISSING A EYE, AND PART OF THE HAIR AND IT WAS RUBBER. WE KNOCK OFF THE HEAD AND IT SERVED BALL.
MIMI BIG PISS, AS THE GAME WORE ON, SAT AT US AND PLACED ON A STONE WITH NORMAL FACE AGAINST THE NEIGHBORING WALL SO THAT IT SEEMED SHE WAS ALWAYS LAUGHING AND THAT ENCOURAGED US IN THE GAME HAVE SUCH AN ATTENTIVE AMATEUR.
WHEN IT WAS FINISHED SHE TOOK THE HEAD OF THE WRIST, SHE CHECKED TO SEE NEW DAMAGE AND LAUGHING WITH ONE FACE WENT BACK HOME.
ORLANDO VICENTE
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