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OLD DISASTER AND NEW TO COME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

     OLD DISASTER AND NEW TO COME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD.


  When I left Cuba I was in the Hit Parade of the government the decrease of the Ozone layers at the poles.

   That the poles over here, that the nefarious ultraviolet rays over there. Anyway, it seemed that the apocalyptic sects were right and thus increased their preaching.

   It was all the fault of fierce Capitalism and the emissions of gases such as chlorine, carbon and fluorine atoms, it was the refrigerant in refrigerators and air conditioners and it worked as an aerosol in all kinds of products, from insecticides to perfumes that were banned at a summit in Canada .

  But in Cuba they didn't cease to be a catastrophist: we had breakfast - with a hard bread and egg - with the news of the ozone layer. I remember a doctor fighting that she was already fed up with the Ozone and that if we were going to die it would be fast, because the Special Period already had us almost skeletal.

  California has been swallowed by the sea every year that passes. All seismologists predict "the great earthquake" of the San Andreas fault. California is still alive and well as always but that has helped scientists earn money arguing that this year will finally be the great earthquake.

  With the explosion of the Sartorini volcano in Greece hundreds of thousands of years ago archaeologists have made TV programs where they argue that nothing more and less than buried the city of Atlantis - metropolis perfection that apparently utopian - Plato, the Old crazy old man. Even the red color of the Nile River that Moses with his magic wand transformed into blood, is justified by modern exegetes that was simply the ashes of the tremendous volcano that hit Greece and that dyed the Nile River, taking power from the Most High, despising it.

  Modern archaeologists every time they discover a monument or structure of a city, even if iti' near Greenland, they say it is the ancient city of Atlantis.

  Now comes a pebble through space. True scientists have calculated trajectory and say it will not collide with the earth. Well, in specialized programs they transformed the asteroid into a monster that comes to break the ass of every living animal. Money for such programs?

  I have heard that the earth in its rotation goes through time immemorial through periods of deglaciation and extreme drought. The specialists don't agree.

   And Greenpeace makes his little money betting on the melting of the poles worrying more than the turtles eat nylon confusing them with jellyfish than the thousands of malnourished children in Africa. Luckily, many countries have already implemented measures to reduce the dumping of this material into the oceans.

  And the apolitical sects showing this news as signs that the End is near, the final catastrophe, that is, finally the second coming of Jesus Christ and the total end, of course, except for the elect that by the way nothing more and nothing less than they are , the rest will die in an atrocious way, including children, elderly, sick, rich and everyone who doesn't share their faith.

  So much beauty that there is the world that God created: the nature, the whispering valleys, the varied fauna everywhere- even in the famous Sahara desert-among them the most polluting of all: the human being- Isn't God going to allow that these catastrophes occur and extinguish creation?

  If from what we have investigated so far we are the only inhabited planet where these evolutionary or creationist wonders occur. Will God allow the human species to become extinct? No. Here we will remain forever. Generation after generation. With the Ciborg Posthuman, the Singularity and other delusional dreams but that the true scientists predict.

  Ahh And it is good to say that the pyramids of Egypt, the Aztecs and other discoveries were made by aliens only to do pseudo science on TV. They believe in ancient civilizations that without reinforced cement could not build tall buildings like now. They made their constructions with stones, tools and slave force with no other option than in the form of a pyramid. There was no other way at that stage of humanity.

  That is the only thing we still inherit: slave force. If you don't look at Cuba, Venezuela and China, where a communist aristocracy enjoys the wealth plundered to the people while it is plunged into an unmentionable misery. Take care of more real and pressing things.

                            Dr. Orlando Vicente Álvarez
cuban uruguayan,genius

CATÁSTROFES ANTIGUAS Y POR VENIR EN ESTE HERMOSO MUNDO.

   

  CATÁSTROFES ANTIGUAS Y POR VENIR EN ESTE HERMOSO MUNDO.

   Cuando salí de Cuba estaba en el Hit Parade del gobierno la disminución de las capas de Ozono en los polos. Que los polos por aquí, que los nefastos rayos ultravioletas por allá. En fin, parecia que las sectas apocalípticas tenían razón y así aumentaban su prédica. Todo era culpa del feroz Capitalismo y las emisiones de gases como  átomos de cloro, carbono y flúor, era el refrigerante en frigoríficos y aires acondicionados y funcionaba de aerosol en todo tipo de productos, desde insecticidas hasta perfumes que se prohibieron en una reunión en Canadá.

  Pero  en Cuba no cesaban de ser catastrofista: nos desayunábamos-con un pan duro y huevo- con las noticias de la capa de ozono. Recuerdo a una Doctora peleando que ya estaba harta del Ozono y que si íbamos a morir que fuera rápido, pues ya el Periodo Especial nos tenía casi esqueléticos.

   California ha sido tragada por el mar cada año que transcurre. Todos los sismólogos pronostican “el gran terremoto” de la falla de San Andrés. California sigue viva y coleando como siempre pero eso ha servido para que científicos ganen dinero argumentando que este año al fin será el gran terremoto.

   Con la explosión del volcán de Sartorini en Grecia hace cientos de miles de años arqueólogos han hecho programas de TV donde argumentan que nada más y menos que sepultó a la ciudad de Atlántida- perfección de metrópoli que de forma al parecer utópica- visionó Platón, el viejo loco  de siempre. Hasta la color rojo del rio Nilo que Moisés con su vara mágica transformo en sangre, la justifican los exegetas modernos que era simplemente las cenizas del tremendo volcán que azoto a Grecia y que tiñeron al rio Nilo quitándole poder al Altísimo, despreciándole.

  Los arqueólogos modernos cada vez que descubren algún monumento o estructura de alguna ciudad, aunque este cerca de Groenlandia, dicen que es la antigua ciudad de Atlántida.

  Ahora viene una piedrecita por el espacio. Los científicos verdaderos han calculado trayectoria y dicen que no chocará con la tierra. Pues en los programas especializados transformaron al asteroide en un monstro que nos viene a romper el culo a todo animal vivente. ¿Dinero por tales programas?

 He escuchado que la tierra en su rotación atraviesa a través de tiempos inmemoriales por periodos desglaciación y sequía extrema. Los especialistas no se ponen de acuerdo. Y Greenpeace hace su dinerillo apostando al derretimiento de los polos preocupándose más que las tortugas coman nailon confundiéndolos con medusas  que de los miles de niños desnutridos de África.   Menos mal que muchos países ya han implementado medidas para reducir el vertimiento de este material a los océanos.

 Y las sectas apolípticas mostrando estas noticias como señales de que el Fin se acerca, la hecatombe final o sea, al fin la segunda venida de Jesucristo y el acabose total, claro, excepto los elegidos que por cierto nada más y nada menos que son ellos, el resto morirá de una forma atroz, incluyendo niños, ancianos, enfermos, ricos y todo el mundo que no comparte su fe.

  Tanta belleza que hay el mundo que Dios creo: la naturaleza, los valles susurrantes, la variada fauna por todas partes- hasta en el famoso desierto del Sahara-entre ellos al más contaminante de todo: el ser humano- ¿Diosito no va a permitir que estas catástrofes ocurran y extingan la creación? Si por lo que hemos investigado hasta ahora somos el único planeta habitado donde se dan estas maravillas evolutivas o creacionistas. ¿Permitirá Dios que se extinga la especie humana?

 No. Aquí permaneceremos para para siempre. Generación tras generación. Con el Ciborg Posthumano, la singularidad y otros sueños delirantes pero que los verdaderos científicos pronostican.

  Ahh. Y está bueno de decir que las pirámides de Egipto, las aztecas y otras descubiertas fueron hechas por extraterrestres solo para hacer pseudo ciencia en la TV.

  Crean en las civilizaciones antiguas que sin cemento armado no podían construir edificios altos como ahora. Hacían sus construcciones con piedras, herramientas y fuerza esclava sin otra opción que en forma de pirámide. No existía otra forma en aquella etapa de la humanidad.

  Eso es lo único que todavía heredamos: fuerza esclava. Si no miren a Cuba, Venezuela y China, donde una aristocracia comunista disfruta de las riquezas expoliadas al pueblo mientras este está sumido en una innombrable miseria. Ocúpense  de cosas más reales y acuciantes.

                            Dr. Orlando Vicente Álvarez          

THE LETTERS IN CHAINS. BACKGROUND. NOW FOR WhatsApp.

  THE LETTERS IN CHAINS. BACKGROUND. NOW FOR WhatsApp.

I remember that when I was a child of approximately 10 years old, we received a letter under the door without a sender saying that we would send 10 copies to the nearest neighbors. 

 I had to do the specifications because I had better lyrics and time to do my mom.There they predicted that if we didn't carry out the mission, thousands of misfortunes would come to the whole family and that if we distributed it, glory and praise would come from  the LORD.

   Then came the distribution stage that I had to do. In each semi-open door or below them, I made the delivery, also anonymous.

  But one day a friend very close to my mother told her that if she received a chain letter again, she would throw it into the river and a holy remedy. Thus the bad predictions that threatened us disappeared.

  The next chain letter arrived a few weeks later. Tired of that we went to Grandma Luisa's house that lived on the banks of the Guaso River and we had to cross the very old metal bridge, with arches and railings, and Mom took the letter from her wallet and threw it into the river.But behold, the letter descended to one of the big pillars of Guaso and Mama lamented. 

  She crossed herself because she was a good Catholic and waited for the future to come.

  Misfortune came soon. Fidel Castro intervened all private businesses and among them the pasteurizer that my father owned. The letter was right. Misfortunes and misfortunes everywhere for not fulfilling the task.

  Currently, to my Uruguayan or Miami friends, they send me a letter on WhatsApp but this time to distribute them to all my contacts. "I prayed like 10 Our Fathers" and like the old ones. Health and lots of money would come.

  I suspecting that there is some trap behind the Attachment I didn't klick  them.

   But more of the misfortunes that I suffer: type 1 diabetes, ischemic heart disease I and obstruction of the right femoral and popliteal arteries, I have no choice but to entrust myself to the Most High and wait, wait, for a simple end.

  When I say my prayers in the morning, if I have a happy day I thank God but if it's disastrous I give it a scandal. And you know how sensitive and affectionate I am towards others.

                 ORLANDO VICENTE ÁLVAREZ

WHATSAPP LAS CARTAS EN CADENAS. ANTECEDENTES. AHORA POR WhatsApp.

 

  LAS CARTAS EN CADENAS. ANTECEDENTES.  AHORA POR WhatsApp.

   

  LAS CARTAS EN CADENAS. ANTECEDENTES.  AHORA POR WhatsApp.

  Recuerdo que cuando era un niño de aproximadamente de 10 años recibíamos por  debajo de la puerta una carta sin remitente que decía que reenviara 10 copias a las vecinas más cercanas. Yo tenía que hacer los pliegos pues tenía mejor letra y tiempo para realizarlas.

   Allí pronosticaban que si no realizaba la misión vendrían  nos caerían miles de desgracias a toda la familia y que si la distribuimos vendría gloria y alabanzas al SEÑOR.

 Después venía la etapa de distribución que yo tenía que hacer. En cada puerta semi abierta o por debajo de las mismas, hacía la entrega, también anónimas.

   Pero un día una amiga muy cercana a mi madre le dijo que si volvía a recibir una carta cadena la tirara al rio y remedio santo. Así se esfumaban las malas predicciones que nos amenazaban.

  La próxima carta en cadena llego a las pocas semanas. Ya harta de aquello fuimos a casa de abuela Luisa que vivía a la orilla del río Guaso y teníamos que atravesar el puente metálico muy viejo, con arcos y barandas, y Mamá sacó la carta de su cartera y la arrojo al río.

   Pero he aquí que la carta  descendió hasta uno de los pilares grandes del  Guaso y Mamá se lamentó. Se persignó pues era una buena católica y esperó el futuro que vendría.

  La desgracia vino pronto. Fidel Castro intervino todos los negocios  privados y entre ellos la pasteurizadora que poseía que poseía mi padre. La carta tenía razón. Desgracias y desgracias por todas partes por no cumplir el cometido.

    Actualmente a mis amigos uruguayos o de Miami me envían por WhatsApp alguna carta pero esta vez para distribuirlas a todos mis contactos. “Recé como 10 Padres Nuestros” y así como las antiguas. Vendría salud y mucho dinero.

  Yo sospechando de que hay alguna trampa tras el Attachment  no lo kliqueo. Pero más de las desgracias que padezco: diabetes tipo 1, cardiopatía isquémica I y obstrucción de las arterias femoral y poplítea derechas, no me queda más remedio que encomendarme al Altísimo y esperar, esperar, por un sencillo final.

   Cuando digo mis oraciones por la mañana, si tengo un día feliz agradezco a Dios pero si es nefasto le doy un escándalo. Y vosotros conócen lo sensible y cariñoso que soy hacia otros.

                          DR   ORLANDO VICENTE ÁLVAREZ 

CUBANO URUGUAYO
GENIO 

HUMOR: FIDEL CASTRO, ITS OLIVE GREEN UNIFORM AND OTHER CAMANEOLIC CHANGES.:

  HUMOR: FIDEL CASTRO, ITS OLIVE GREEN UNIFORM AND OTHER CAMANEOLIC CHANGES.: 

Fidel Castro, the great leader of the Cuban Revolution didn't make himself alone with his weapons and stubborn bearded men. No. He knew the influence on the masses that a well-crafted image, part of the cult of the personality of the tyrants - currently look at the stars of Pop - and remained in the uniform of the guerrilla fighter of the Sierra Maestra and even with a hat and all the scaffolding that the fight was still going on.

  The beard was also part of his image as Prince of Communism.Only the face and hands escaped that constant color. The deserting officers say to exile that he slept with briefs "kills passions underpants" also of the aforementioned color and that he had a small opening to urinate and to make love-they say that he didnt remove them for that.  He have felt naked.

  He had heard the Soviet President criticizing the cult of Estalin's personality and the idolatry of the Russian people to the point that when he died like a thousand citizens crushed to see the beloved dead leader died in the intact. Kruchev talked about it at one of the Congresses of the Soviet Party and Castro took account of the fact. He had to find a newer way for the people to worship him after the grim reaper saw him. The God of the Old Testament had no image or sculpture to worship. Forbidden for Jews and Christians. So Fidel would manage people with another more effective way of worshiping.

  At the beginning of the 1960s, he prohibited the placing of monuments, statues or names on the streets of a living leader. He didn't want competition. But years later he suffered from Hybrys Syndrome and regretted those speeches of false modesty. Already his flatterers would be in charge of investing something that would perpetuate their legacy. He even seized our flag: it was for the Castro-communists and anyone who opposed his delusional ideas: exile or rot in jail. Ahh. And in the wake the Cuban flag couldn't be displayed. This was the exclusive property of his followers.

 But over the years of wearing the olive uniform, it came out on the skin like a green fungal mycosis that had no dermatologist to remove it. But the big surprise was when he began to pee greenish. This really alarmed him. He have consulted with the best urologists in the capital. None knew a kidney or bladder condition that colored urine of that color. Perhaps some trip to Africa had caught some bladder parasite that gave no symptoms except the novel coloration.

  He resigned himself with the months but didn't abandon his olive green uniform. When he shit, he didn't watch the shit if it wasn't also olive green.The tongue hypertrophied by the long and tired speeches, thank God that it remained red as a good beef eater that he was.

  Then came the Ibero-American summits and without consulting the people - he who was asking the four winds about a miraculous cow that broke the Guinness Record in milk production - changed his olive green uniform to a very white Cuban guayabera. Of course, the Latin American  was less "Left" and had to wear a look that Cuba was also open to change, to renewal.

   He also stood out among other presidents with his worn olive green uniform- they say he bathed twice a week because he lived in air-conditioned mansions and didn't sweat like the whole town- What a great hoax! In his internal jurisdiction he would continue to be the same Dictator of always, with hard hand and cutting heads to those who made the slightest warning that he was wrong - less his blood brother - who he had already chosen as his successor.

  On another summit he dressed in black suit and tie of magnificent cut. All a chameleonic change to deceive the world and continue to blame the blockade of all the evils of Cuba.

  When death approached - he knew it very well - he appeared before the TV cameras in a sports uniform of the Adidas firm, the fiercest representative of Capitalism that he swore to fight since the early years of the revolution. Things of the last days of the kings when they know they are going to die!

  But it doesn't end there. His egolatry was so strong that it transcended death. His last false modesty was to be "cremated." Of course, he was too emaciated for a body vigil present in the Revolution Square. In addition, so they could walk around the country and the people on the sides of the route said their last goodbye: "until always commander". While tongue in they said like the Galicians "what gave birth to you"

  And so he went to his mausoleum, which was similar to a large ostrich egg and with the simple name of FIDEL. How modest and simple was the commander. Already his flatterers would be in charge of keeping his vision of a just society in force.

  How modest and simple was the commander. Already their flatterers would be in charge of keeping their vision of a just society in force where the Communist Royalty enjoys the pleasures of life and the people are starving.

           ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ.

HUMOR: FIDEL CASTRO, SU UNIFORME VERDE OLIVO Y OTROS CAMBIOS CAMALIÓNICOS.

 

  HUMOR: FIDEL CASTRO, SU UNIFORME VERDE OLIVO Y OTROS CAMBIOS CAMALIÓNICOS.

    Fidel Castro, el gran líder de la Revolución cubana no se hizo a sí mismo  solo con sus armas y aguerridos barbudos. No. conocía el influjo sobre las masas que una imagen bien elaborada, parte del culto a la personalidad  de los tiranos- actualmente miren a las estrellas del Pop- y permaneció con el uniforme del guerrillero aguerrido de la Sierra Maestra y hasta con un gorro y todo el andamiaje de que aún continuaba la lucha. La barba también formaba parte de su imagen de Príncipe del Comunismo.

   Solo la cara y las manos escapaban de aquel color constante. Dicen los oficiales desertores al exilio que dormía con unos calzoncillos “mata pasiones” también del mencionado color y que tenía una pequeña abertura para orinar y para hacer el amor-dicen que ni para eso se los quitaba. Se sentía desnudo.

  Había escuchado al presidente  Soviético criticando el culto a la personalidd de Estalin y la idolatría del pueblo ruso al punto quecuando este murió como mil ciudadanos aplastados por ver al querido lider muerto murieron en el intanto. Kruchev habló sobre eso en uno de los congresos del Partido sovietico y Castro tomó cuenta del hecho. Tenía que encontrar una forma más novedosa para el pueblo lo adorara después de que la parca lo vistara. El Dios del Antiguo Testamento no tenía imagen ni escultura para adorar. Prohibido para los judios y cristianos. Asi que ya Fidel se las ingeniaría con otra forma más efctiva de adoración del pueblo, Al principio de la década de los '60 prohibió poner monumentos, estatuas o nombres a las calles de algún dirigente vivo. No queria competencia.


   Pero años después le aquejó el Síndrome de Hybrys y se arrempitió de aquellos discursos de falsa modestia. Ya sus adulones se encargarían de invertar algo que perpetuara su legado. Hasta se apoderó de nuestra bandera: era para los castro-comunistas y cualquiera que se oponía a sus ideas delirantes: el exilio o podrirse en la carcel. Ahh. Y en el velatorio no podía exhibirse la bandera cubana. Esta era propiedad exclusiva de sus seguidores. 

   Pero con los  años de tanto usar el uniforme verde olivo le salió en la piel como una micosis- hongos- de color verde que no había médico dermatólogo que se lo eliminara.

   Pero la gran sorpresa fue cuando comenzó a orinar verdoso. Esto sí que lo alarmó. Consultó con los mejores Urólogos de la capital. Ninguno conocía un padecimiento renal o de vejiga que coloreaba la orina de ese color. Quizás algún viaje a África había agarrado algún parásito vesical que no daba ningún síntoma excepto la novedosa coloración.

   Se resignó con los meses pero no abandonó su uniforme verde olivo. Al cagar no observaba la mierda no fuera a ser que también fuera verde olivo.

  La lengua hipertrofiada por los largos y cansinos discursos gracias a Dios que permaneció roja como buen comedor de carne de vaca que era.

 Entonces vinieron  las cumbres Iberoamericanas y sin consultar al pueblo- él que pregonaba a los cuatro vientos sobre una vaca milagrosa que rompía el Record Guinness en producción de leche- cambió su uniforme verde olivo por una cubanísima guayabera blanca. Claro, ya la izquierda latinoamericana estaba menos “Izquierdosa” y tenía que lucir un look de que Cuba también estaba abierta al cambio, a la renovación. Además sobresalía entre otros presidentes con su gastado uniforme verde oliivo- dicen que se bañaba dos veces a la semana puess vivía en mansiones con aire acondicionado yno sudaba como todo el pueblo- ¡Qué gran engaño! En su fuero interno seguiría siendo el mismo Dictador de siempre, con mano dura y cortando cabezas a los que hacían la más mínima advertencia de que se equivocaba- menos a su hermano de sangre-a quién ya había elegido como su sucesor.

 

   En otra cumbre se vistió con traje y corbata negros de magnífico corte. Todo un cambio camaleónico para engañar al mundo y seguir echando culpa al bloqueo de todos los males de Cuba.

   Cuando la muerte se aproximaba- él lo sabía muy bien- apareció ante las cámaras de la  TV con un uniforme deportivo de la firma Adidas, representante del Capitalismo más feroz que él juró combatir desde los primeros años de la revolución. ¡Cosas de los últimos días de los reyes cuando saben que van a morir!

  Pero ahí no termina todo. Su egolatría era tan fuerte que transcendió a la muerte. Su última falsa modestia fue que lo “Cremaran”. Claro, estaba demasiado demacrado para una vigilia de cadáver presente en la plaza de la Revolución. Además, así podían pasearlo por todo el país y que el pueblo a los lados del recorrido dijeran su último adiós: hasta siempre comandante. Mientras que lengua adentro decían como los gallegos  “que te parió”

  Y así fue a su mausoleo, que era semejante a un gran huevo de avestruz y con el sencillo nombre de FIDEL. Qué modesto y sencillo era el comandante. Ya sus aduladores se encargarían de mantener vigente su visión de una sociedad justa donde la Realeza Comunista disfruta los placeres de la vida y el pueblo se muere de hambre.

                                ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ.                

SHORT STORY: SINGER KAREN CARPENTER: THE GODDESS DIE YOUNG.

 KAREN CARPENTER: THE SINGER. THE GODDESS DIE YOUNG. SHORT STORY.

  When I was in Cuba, the biggest fever of Anglo-American music of the 1970s was excited. In the Hit Parede of Kaven Kences every Saturday morning, by the station of the American Naval Base that was captured in Guantanamo, we listened to the best Hits of the moment. 

  Then The Carpenters threw one success after another. And the students of the Pre University Ruben Batista fell in love with the duo, whose music, a little cloying and sweet, served as a commentary every day of classes and we listened to in the "dercargas" - music, drinks and dances - that we did in the house of a partner .

 The outstanding name of Karen Carperter, who was pure magic in her bass and because of the sweetness she spilled from her prodigious vocal record, highlighted - reminiscent of our very Cuban Gloria Stefan.

  His brother at the piano seemed not to exist. He only accompanied her in the choirs and let her sing like a bird humming a beautiful flower.

  They produced a different soft musical style, combined with Karen's vocal contralto with Richard and his skills as an arranger and composer. During the 14-year career, The Campenters had ten albums, numerous singles and several television specials.

  The first single, "Close to You," quickly reached No. 1 on the Billboard charts, and remained there for several weeks. Then they checked the Beatles song "Mr. Postman" resounding success.

  At the height of their fame I saw a special on American Base TV. I was surprised by Karen's thinness, she looked like a terminally ill with cancer. Later I learned that she was suffering from Nervous Anorexia and that she was taking Methamphetamine pills to avoid obesity and keep up the hard pace of so many tours around the world.

  On the morning of February 4, 1983, Karen woke up, went to the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker, and then returned to her room. Her mother got up, the minutes passed and there were no signs of Karen, so she went up to her room, where she found her unconscious.

    In minutes, an ambulance arrived, which took her to the emergency room. Richard arrived at the clinic shortly after. After 30 minutes, the doctor informs them:

   "I'm sorry, Karen is dead."

 The remains rest of the singer are in the family mausoleum of the Pierce Brothers Valley Oaks Memorial Park in Westlake Village, Los Angeles County, California.

  Maybe the young people today don't know anything about that prodigious duo The Carpenter or that their music feels it out of tune or too cloying, but they were a duo that cheered our youth and whose songs we would remember forever.

                   ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ

KAREN CARPERTER: LAS DIOSAS MUEREN JÓVENES. CORTO.

KAREN CARPENTER: LAS DIOSAS MUEREN JÓVENES. CORTO.

  Cuando yo estaba en Cuba transcurría la mayor fiebre de música Anglo-americana de la década de los '70.

   En el Hit Parede de Kace Kences de todos los sábados en la mañana, por la emisora de la Base Naval americana que se captaba en Guantánamo, escuchábamos los mejores Hits del momento. Entonces Los Carpenters lanzaban un éxito tras otro. Y los alumnos del Pre Universitario Ruben Batista nos enamoramos del duo, cuya música, un poco empalagosa y dulzona, servía de comentario cada dia de clases y que escuchabamos en las descargas- musica, tragos y bailes- que haciamos en la casa de algún compañero.

  Destacaba la innombrable voz de Karen Carperter que era magia pura en sus bajos y por lo dulce que derramaba su prodigioso registro vocal- que recuerda en algunas partes a nuestra cubanisima Gloria Stefan.

  Su hermano al piano parecía no existir. Solo la acompañaba en los coros y la dejaba a ella cantar como el
zumbido de  un colibrí libando una bella flor.

  Produjeron un distinto estilo musical suave, combinado con el contralto vocal de Karen con Richard y sus habilidades como arreglista y compositor. Durante los 14 años de carrera, Los Campenters  diez álbumes, numerosos sencillos y varios especiales para la televisión.

  El primer sencillo, "Close to You", alcanzó rápidamente el puesto número 1 en las listas del Billboard, y permaneció ahí por varias semanas. Luego vercionaron la cancion de los Beatles "Mr. Postman" éxito rotundo.

   En el apogeo de su fama vi un especial por la TV de la Base americana. Me sorprendió la delgadez de Karen, parecía una enferma terminal con cancer. Después me entere que padecia de Anorexia Mental, que tomaba pildoras de Metanfetamina para evitar la obesidad y mantener el duro ritmo de tantas giras por el mundio.

La mañana del 4 de febrero de 1983, Karen despertó, fue a la cocina a prender la cafetera, y luego regresó a su habitación. Su madre se levantó, pasaron los minutos y no había señales de Karen, así que subió a su habitación, donde la encontró inconsciente. En minutos, llegó una ambulancia, que la llevó a la sala de urgencias. Richard llegó a la clínica poco después. Luego de 30 minutos, el médico les informa: "Lo siento, Karen está muerta."

  Sus restos descansan en el mausoleo familiar del Pierce Brothers Valley Oaks Memorial Park de Westlake Village, en el Condado de Los Ángeles, California.

  Quizas los jóvenes actuales no saben nada de aquel prodigioso duo Los Carpenter o que su música la sientan ya fuera de onda o demasiado empalagosa, pero fueron un duo que alegró nuestra juventud y cuyas canciones recordariamos para siempre.

        ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ

         

WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DON'T GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST.

 WITH THE ROPE TO THE NECK? DON'T GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST.

 Some time in consultation came a patient who taught me a role to present in offices of help to those in need of the government on duty

 .- And what is this saying here? I don't understand. The psychiatrist who attends to me wrote it to me-he said in a broken voice.

. I took the sheet in my hands and read it:"Diogenes Syndrome mixed with Narcissus Syndrome Type II"

  I was thoughtful for a few moments and said:

  -Better go to a Psychoanalyst who knows a lot about Hermeneutics and Exegesis, which they know more than a psychiatrist about this disease.

 - And what is that Doctor?

  -It is about the study and decryption of ancient writers, especially the Holy Scriptures, the Bible.

  - And what do I have to do with that, Doctor? I'm a calm man, I worked my whole life and now that the years have lifted me with a heavy load. I come with this?

  -Ahh. The psychiatrists, the psychiatrists! Go with the psychoanalyst, please, who are the best connoisseurs of mental illness. And they don't prescribe as many medications as psychiatrists that produce side effects and then more drugs come to counteract these. In the end, you look worse than when you first came in.-And I continued after a pause, -the problem with psychoanalysts is that they take their time to diagnose you- 7 or 10 years, it depends on your pocket- And they also fall asleep at times during the consultation and from time to time they wake up to say: "Please continue, continue, we are already making great progress" - and after another pause - "By the way: What time is it?"
 And you say: "But it's only been 40 minutes, Doctor!"

  And the psychoanalyst tells you with the greatest patience:

  -No matter the time if it is well spent. Until next week ... Ahh. Don't forget your credit card. A week ago my fees aren't paid by you

.-Ahh. Yes. That the psychiatrist diagnosed you with a metal disease that I already know.

-YES. It seems so Doctor. But he caught my attention  only once, a year and a half ago, he saw me personally in his office. Then he sent his secretary to repeat the medication, like this, without more or more.

  -And why didn't you complain?

  -I didn't want to bother them, Doctor. They work hard because this world is getting worse: people suffering everywhere.

  -But as you say here on paper you have a mental illness...

  -What mental illness, or mental illness! I only went to see a psychiatrist.

  The old man left the office with short steps as if life itself had been shattered.

  It wasn't like thousands of years ago when mental illnesses were treated by the sorcerer or the village spiritist. Or else, they stoned the individual as possessed by some evil spirit and ended the evil.   Or they stoned him, hanged him, exiled him or another form of torture

 .Then, over time the priests arrived who, with confession, penance, repentance and prayer as 28 Hail Mary and 40 Our Father, intended to cure the sick. If this didn't work then they called an exorcist of experience and all the demons - there were all kinds of evil spirits that tormented the psyche of the sufferer, and holy remedy. If they did'nt expel them, they locked him in a special convent with a closed cell and kept him in bread and water, until he died, thus they ended the evil root.

  I saw a documentary of the black AFRICA where a sorcerer sanctified in a tongue of his ancestors a young man, prostrate on a palm branch in the open air, to cure him of an Acute Appendicitis. Then he gave him a very old potion to drink. The young man stood or died - the evil spirit had triumphed - but in this case the boy was cured of his ailment. It was a matter of faith and cultural tradition.

  Then Sigmund Freud arrived who complicated everything with the psychoanalytic revolution. And he went to Greek mythology — it had to be the Greeks because everyone was crazy starting with Plato and his atomic theory.

   There arose several Syndromes that explained the complexity of the human soul: Diogenes, Oedipus, Electra-Jung-, Cronos, Ulises. Even Penelope Syndrome - yes Ulysses' wife who waited for him for 20 years being faithful, this type of female is no longer seen - was mentioned in psychoanalysis.

  But Freud didn't remain calm. The human soul was so complex - and he made a pandemonium of it - So, it wasn't enough with so many Gods to name mental illnesses. No. He didn't stay there.The Creso Complex, the Achilles Complex, emerged. And finally, not satisfied - the Greek Gods ran out - explained the Oedipus Complex that so many headaches brought to psychoanalysis - most specialists were already developing some of these Syndrome that is, they went crazy and invented the Complex  of Complex Sarah Bernard famous actress of the early twentieth century that mobilized crowds with her performances in the theater. SARAH BERNHARDT OFFENDS CUBANS in 19 October 1905

Alleged to have classified Islanders as "Negroes  in Dress Clothes." The reality was that a cuban creole had touched her beautiful ass in the crowd.

   Since it wasn't enough for those who had clearly explained the Doctor who revolutionized the approach to new mental illnesses, which had always existed but a man like him had to emerge to complicate things.

  Then the Phobias arose:

  Ablutophobia: fear of water and hand washing - in colloquial language: the Pig Complex.

  Acluophobia: fear of darkness - especially applied to children who want to sleep with a candle lit or more modernly, with an electric lamp. This is eliminated when the boy reaches adolescence, has a girlfriend and looks for a dark place in the street to satisfy his imperative sexual need. There the fear of darkness dissapear.

  Agateophobia, dementophobia or maniaphobia: fear of madness or going crazy: how things are going to that phobia we all arrive sooner or later especially the psychiatrists who already have some.

   And so many Phobias that psychoanalysts and psychiatrists confused them all: one who feared the dark was called Dark Phobia, those who feared bathing, DirtyPhobia, and so on.

  But Freud's most controversial theory was why human beings developed attraction to the opposite sex. He called the man "fear of castration" and the woman "penis envy" All to overcome the Oedipus Complex in his childhood. He didn't see that the human couple f... because yes, it is a natural and evolutionary instinct to preserve the species.

  That's why I say that Freud and Jung were already crazy when they wrote their treatises, especially Freud in "The interpretation of dreams" as a cartomantic that tells you that it means the dream that is usually that you are going to break a lightning bolt or fill your hands of money. 

   Also in "Toten and Taboo" that I shot hidden in the University of Cuba, and other studies that more than psychoanalysis or psychiatric seemed inspiration of a sensitive and observant artist. The cinema hadn't yet developed in all its fullness but would have been inspired by the form of the rockets, spaceships, zeppelin, etc.  to see a symbolic "phallus" in all of them, because man is increasingly sexually impotent and the proliferation of Gays make them see those symbols everywhere.

  A 92-year-old patient with a clear mind, who told me that she had never suffered a Depression in her life and had been very happy, went to a psychiatrist. The doctor was speechless. Some Syndrome had to endilgate the old woman. And he told her that she was carrying “Methuselah Syndrome” but she was not going to leave like that so much as a consultation. He prescribed a lot of psychotropic drugs so that the old woman wouldn't leave without a diagnosis and treatment. The poor woman wanted to be put to rest because she had lived long enough, had enjoyed life, her family had already died and she wanted the Lord to take her now, but with a little help. The doctor prescribed some drugs that bedridden her. Thus she died unconscious. This time the doctor had been very insightful.

  I also made my contribution to Psychoanalysis or Psychiatry when I was practicing in a city in Nicaragua.

  Inspired by the Judeo-Christian Holy Scriptures, I dared to invent the "Adam and Eve Syndrome.

  "When God made Paradise He saw that  needed a human partner: man and woman He created them. But He didn't know why He had put a phallus on the man and a cleft  between  the woman legs.

  The two human creatures didn't know what they were for either. God for the doubt that those parts of the anatomy were going to give him many problems later  said:

  -You might eat all kinds of fruits from the garden of Eden less that tree of juicy, bright and large peaches, you will not eat them because then my fury will spill on you and the utopia of Paradise will disappear, as before there was nothing.

   I don't believe in the legend of the snake gossiping the couple that they ate peach fruits. The truth is that a bad creature said Eva," took a fruit one day - women are always the first in everything, especially in that of sin - and eat it"

  She found it delicious and said to the man:

  -"Bite the fruit so you can see how good it is. If you like it, I'll make you peach pie later”

  Adam followed Eva's advice and ate the fruit of the forbidden tree. 

  Then, a fever seized them and an unknown impulse spread through the two bodies to the point that those anatomical parts that they didn't know what they were for were perfectly coupled, giving them the greatest pleasure of their lives.

  The Peach tree was left without a single fruit in a few days and even the leaves disappeared.

  God found out. The Archangel Gabriel, who was tremendous gossip and confidant, told the Most High that his prohibition had been broken. God came down from their heavenly mansions - the dictators of today have them with swimming pools and all the luxury that the people don't enjoy - and cursed Adam and Eve lose the Paradise that had cost them so much to build - in those times the mortar, beasts and birds had to be imported from all over the world, which had cost the entire heavenly court an immeasurable fortune that plunged into great spiritual inflation.

  Total. If they don't have those anatomical accidents Gog himself had created them to obtain offspring and the human species  disappeared. He never knew why He had forbidden them to use them. Was it because of the pleasure they brought, which He was deprived of?

  A reliable example of this Adam and Eve Syndrome that I discovered was provided by my consulting secretary in Nicaragua. She was a shy girl. Very well arranged and fragrant with perfume. One day she asked me that she wanted to ask me something. She said in a shameful and modest voice, with her face on and her head down:

 -Look Doctor. The problem is that my husband and I eagerly wish to have a child but we have been trying for a year and a half and nothing.

   My medical instinct told me that there were something wrong with the couple's sexual relations and I said:

   - Does he use condoms or do you take the pills or does the man spill his seed out of your gut? -I told her very tactfully.

   -I don't know, Doctor. If I have never seen him - the virile member - I haven't touched it or anything like that. Also, I don't take the pill and I don't know if I he uses a condom or not.

-So you don't feel pleasure?

-No Doctor. I feel like a green banana, long and hard, will destroy my guts every night.

   -What position do they make love in? -I asked.

   - On all fours always, as if I were a bitch.

   My mind lit up:

  - So your husband penetrates you against nature?

  - And what is that, Doctor?

  -He never puts himself on top of you and makes love to you from the front slit?

  No. Doctor. Isn't that opening to urinate and for a baby to 
  be born?

-"Virgin Mary," I said in amazement, "then you are still a virgin!"

-Oh my God. Do not mention our Dear Mother of Christ in this filth!

-I meant that you are still like a virgin for not making love as God commands.-I paused-Bring your husband to the office to talk to him. He is a donkey with two legs.That's why you didn't have a baby.

  My brain lit up with Adam and Eve Syndrome before the original sin. I explained some sexual techniques that I should carry out, etc. etc. As the girl was beautiful and very desirable I approached her to be more explicit. I was excited but I restrained myself. It won't be that if I put a hand on there would produce some Syndrome of those Maniacs and go outside screaming: "The doctor wanted to rape me!" or something similar. That's why I didn't touch her. 

  Currently, just to talk about sex even if you are a doctor with your female patient, they accuse you of sexual abuse or attempted rape. Although in those years it was usual practice sexual relations with more daring patients or between cuban medical and paramedical staff.

   In recent years, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts have had to modernize with the new pop generation of young people from music, television, film and other media. For example some already know:

   Jennifer Lopez Complex: here is a disorder of how girls feel in relation to the body. Everyone wants to have the butt of the singer and actress. There is a real mania to blow silicone or some other material on the buttocks and then go outside with tight jeans, or tight short closed to show off a succulent A... Is there already treatment for this?

  Rapper Complex: they are generally American negroes who have made millions with their raps and dress strikingly with overcoats of open mink skins, wide-brimmed hats and multiple Gold pierces on the ears and lips. Numerous jewels tangletheir neck. All young people, especially brownyoung men, wants to imitate them and since they don't have the millions of dollars, they fall into some type of depression that needs psychiatric attention.

WHITNEY SPEARS COMPLEX: adolescent who reached stardom with the image of a naughty schoolgirl - incitement to pedophiles - and golden hair. After, she had many millions she became rebellious, she rubbed hers hair, got pierced and neglected her two hand neglecting her two children, to the point that she lost custody of them. Then she fought to recover them. 

  Tell me psychiatrists do these mental dissorder has treatment other than pills and pills but psychotherapy, which is to talk closely with patients with a lot of patience and love, who try to imitate these figures? 

  We no longer have to resort to Greek mythology. Just observe the reality around. The times change. 

  Why our pulse accelerated, we were red and staring and an erection that broke our pants in our teens in front of a full-color and semi-nude photo of Marilyn Monroe. What was that syndrome that we all suffered and that made us feel guilty? We were just normal boys responding to a testosterone discharge as always, at all times, it has happened with humanity. 

   Now I hope you all don't call me Psychiatrophobic, you have some reason.

                Dr. Orlando Vicente Alvarez