Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Humor: Raul Castro wants to be hated in Stgo of Cuba.

HUMOR: RAUL CASTRO WANTS TO BE HATED IN STGO DE CUBA.

Raul Castro, in an interview with government media, said that what is most strange are cockfighting and scavenging by scavenger birds on his private ranch in realengo 18 in the mountains of Guantánamo. It cost him more than Fidel to stop smoking.
Now the power has gone to his head. He wants to be remembered more than Fidel. And that they walk it by all the island until the Great Stone, decorating the stone with a thought:, "Here lies the second brother of Fidel but the one that had more balls"
They had spent decades humiliated and even said "dad" to Fidel in a speech. But now his revenge arrives like the ancient pharaohs. He wants to be buried with his living lover and a bowl of water so that she dies of starvation.
And poor Vilma Espin is left alone in the pantheon of the FAR.-the woman ate his legs and arms so corrupted that she died soon-

Nothing, that the guy in his senile dementia has gone up the smoke and leaves an heir who will follow his same steps without changing anything.

DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBAN URUGUAYAN,GENIUS

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

EL SEGUNDON Humor: Raul Castro quiere que lo entierren en Stgo de Cuba.

HUMOR: RAUL CASTRO QUIERE QUE LO ENTIERREN EN STGO DE CUBA.

Raúl Castro en una entrevista que ofreció a medios oficialistas dijo que lo que más extraña son las peleas de gallo y la caza con rifle de aves carroñeras en su finca privada del realengo 18 en un monte internado en las montañas de Guantánamo. Le costó más que a Fidel dejar de fumar.

Ahora el poder se le ha ido a la cabeza. Quiere ser recordado más que Fidel. Y que lo paseen por toda la isla hasta la Gran Piedra, decorando la piedra con un pensamiento suyo, “Aquí yace el segundón de Fidel pero el que tenía más cojones”

Habían pasados décadas humillado y hasta le dijo “papá” a Fidel en un discurso. Pero ahora llega su venganza como los antiguos faraones. Quiere ser enterrado con su amante viva y un tazón de agua para que muera de inanición.

Y la pobre Vilma Espín se queda solita en el panteón de las FAR.

Nada, que al tipo en su demencia senil se le han subido los humos y deja un heredero que seguirá sus mismos pasos sin cambiar nada.

DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ

CUBANO URUGUAYO

GENIO

Sunday, April 22, 2018

HUMOR. THE FIRST CONDON

THE FIRST CONDOM.

Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.

It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
URUGUAYAN CUBAN,GENIUS

Saturday, April 21, 2018

SATIRIC HUMOR: LETTER TO A BLUEBIRD AND EMPTY JOURNALIST,

LETTER TO A BLUEBIRD AND EMPTY JOURNALIST OF FACEBOOK.

Any coincidence with a certain journalist is pure coincidence. Who does not know who was François Mauriac Novel prize of literature there 'for the 50' and who was Catholic, He wrote well but too boring and incoherent:

At first, the universe was only dark matter but God - which is eternal - a giant gas was sent in its fight with Satan - and created the galaxies and nebulae, including solar system with the earth.

My aunt Figuera, a good-sized Galician, put a candle in the bathtub on the anniversary of each deceased relative. We children learned the date of each death of the ancestors, because that day we did not bathe and we smelled fried Hot dog all day.
.
My grandmother, the river Guaso, grew up and brought her the house - with grandfather and everything - and she did not spill a tear.

Communism is an anthropological aberration - said John Paul II in his encyclical Renum Nubaron.

I do not know if they remember the autobiography of Ricardo Arenas where a Cuban official writer sits on a light bulb. They had to operate and everything. He also does the same but he could not get it out because of that at night it short-circuits and the backlight is illuminated like a firefly.

HUMOR SATIRICO: CARTA A UN PERIODISTA RUISEÑOR Y HUECO.

CARTA A UN PERIODISTA RUISEÑOR Y HUECO.

Cualquier coincidencia con cierto periodista es pura casualidad. Que no sabe quién fue François Mauriac premio Novel de literatura allá ‘por los 50’ y que era católico, escribía bien pero demasiado aburrido e incoherente:

Al principio el universo era solo materia oscura pero a Dios- que es eterno- se mandó un gigantesco gas en su lucha con Satán- y se crearon las galaxias y nebulosas, entre ellos sistema solar con la tierra.

Mi tía Figuera, gallega de buena cepa, le ponía una vela en la bañera en el aniversario de cada familiar fallecido. Nosotros los niños nos aprendimos la fecha de cada muerto de los ancestros, pues ese día no nos bañábamos y olíamos a chorizo frito todo el día.

A mi abuela el río Guaso crecido le llevó la casa- con abuelo y todo- y no derramó ni una lagrima.

El comunismo es una aberración antropológica- lo dijo Juan Pablo II en su encíclica Renum Robaron.

No sé si recuerdan la autobiografía de Ricardo Arenas donde un escritor oficialista cubano se sienta sobre una bombilla. Lo tuvieron que operar y todo. Este también hace lo mismo pero no pudieron sacársela por eso por las noches hace cortocircuito y el trasero se le alumbra como a una luciérnaga.

immigration, immigrants.POLITICS: FROM EDGE HAiTIIAN PAINTED WHITE #HAITI

Front edge HAITIAN PAINTED WHITE.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.

When I was a young doctor in the province of Guantánamo. They sent me to San Antonio del Sur, a municipality adjoining the Caribbean Sea. When a boat full of Haitians ran aground on the reefs, they sent me with an expert assistant in Epidemiology.
I was not allowed to touch them just examine them in the eye of a good player.There were about 50 Haitians going to Miami. We went down the cliff and forced them to undress - men, women and children - and a fumigator sprayed them with white milk - Difterez - from head to toe. They painted them white.
The PCC authorities threw banana bouquets from above as if they were infected or were going to eat us alive. Then they forced us to collect all indications of their presence: cans, threadbare clothes and all traces of them and burned them.That was communist solidarity.
Then came an older Cuban ship and towed them to the high seas to continue on their way. And they forced us to keep the secret. That's why I sometimes say that I'm not Cuban: I'm Haitian.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBAN URUGUAYAN
GENIUS

http://orlandoescritorynovelista.blogspot.com.uy/